I'm Not An Angel
by Maiihemm
Summary: Faelynn Delaney is back in town. Only problem she has, is the ten year hiatus from her two loves did nothing to help her figure out what was best for her. She has a respectable degree and a life set up for herself, but it means nothing if she can't get her head on straight. Can Otto's daughter figure out her life or will she crash and burn like before?
1. Welcome (Back) To Charming

**I've had this story flowing around in my head for a while! Please let me know how you like it. I'll get a ton uploaded today so the story flows well :)**

* * *

The saying around Charming was you either lived there forever or you moved away never to be heard from again. I had told myself when I was twenty that I would never see that little Welcome to Charming sign or anyone that resided there every again. Tara and I had made a pact that we would escape that world and never look back, even if it meant never seeing each other again. I had finished school and held every credential I had ever thought of having. I had a damn good practice in New York City and loved my job.

Yet there I was, sitting right outside the town limits for Charming, scowling at the sign.

I took a break from my stare down with an inanimate object and looked to the right. There was a packet from the state of California welcoming me along with my licensing to continue working with patients. I had barely even needed to fill out paperwork to get it transferred over. Apparently, psychologists aren't as scrutinized in the sunny state as they are in New York.

I sighed before putting my Camaro into drive. I knew that rolling into a small town like this with such a shiny car would attract attention. I guess I never really got over the thrill of having everyone watch me. I drove down the road with my windows up, letting the tint of the windows hide my smirk as everyone turned towards me. I drove down main street until I found the turn I was looking for.

I pulled into the driveway next to the all too familiar 1967 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. I smiled as the brunette I was looking for walked out of her door and put her hands on her hips. I cut the engine and swung the door open. I couldn't hide the grin on my face as we ran into each others arms.

"Faelynn! I can't believe it's you!"

"You now I hate that name, Tara."

"Well, it's your name, Fae."

"That's better."

We held onto each other smiling in her driveway. We pulled away and she peeked around me at my car.

"You always were the one for dramatics. I bet you gave half the people in town a heart attack. Drove right down main street, didn't you?"

"Aww, babe you still know me so well."

We laughed as I followed her inside. I looked around to see all her box's packed on one side and all her parents stuff being put into boxes.

"I'm so sorry I didn't hear about the funeral, Tara."

"It's okay. I didn't even want to come back myself."

"You gonna stay?"

"That's the plan. I already have a job at the hospital. Told the hospital manager that you're looking for a job too. She said they have been itching for a psychologist for years. No one wants to be here though."

"Because the money is shit and there's nothing to do that is legal."

She laughed and shook her head.

"Well whenever you're ready I'll introduce you to her. Everything transferred over?"

"Yeah, thankfully. For a while there I was afraid I would have to become one of my moms talent."

Tara burst out laughing, covering her face.

"Well it wouldn't be the first time."

"Shut it, Tara. I've long put Destiny in her grave."

Tara continued to laugh, finally bringing a smile to my face.

"I missed you, Tare."

"I missed you too, Fae. I really appreciate you coming back with me."

"I promised you I'd always be here for you, babe."

I got up and kissed her on the cheek before carrying some of my stuff down the hallway. I had spent so many nights in this house growing up that it didn't even feel like I had left. I had though and the next few days weren't going to be easy. I pulled my phone out deciding to get the worst over with.

 **Hello?**

 _Hey, ma._

 **Faelynn?!**

 _Yeah, it's me._

 **Oh my god, baby.**

 _You home?_

 **I'm up at the studio! Are you in Charming?**

 _I'll see you in a little bit._

* * *

I had gotten the address from Tara before heading out. Apparently, the studio my mother worked out of had moved when she started having issues with another producer. I groaned out loud when I pulled in and saw the gaggle of whores outside. I immediately recognized Ima in the center of the crowd. I was always told I was an attention whore, but this woman took the cake. I put the car in park and saw her looking over. I looked down at my clothes and make sure my shirt was showing just the right amount of cleavage.

"I know that isn't Faelynn Delaney walking up to me right now."

I forced a smile and put my sunglasses on top of my head.

"Ima, baby, you haven't changed a bit."

She frowned at me. It was very obvious she had gotten a boob job done in the years since I had seen her. She was vain and I knew making it seem like she wasn't anything but a washed-up porn star would rock her to her core. I had a bit of a mean streak.

"You look different. Here to see your mom?"

"No, thought I'd come back here and sweep you off your feet."

She smiled and stepped out of her crowd, planting a kiss on my lips. Ima wasn't a tall woman, but she still had an inch or two on me. I felt that familiar heat rise in my body with her lips pressed to mine but forced myself to pull away. Last thing I needed was to get caught up with a porn slut. Again.

"Jesus, Ima. Wash your mouth next time. Your mouth tastes like cock."

"Aww, jealous, baby?"

"Of you? Not likely. Mom inside?"

"Yeah. She should be in her office."

Ima snaked my phone out of my purse and started punching numbers into it. She slipped it back in and kissed my cheek before she walked away, making sure her hips were swinging. I shook my head and walked inside, vaguely afraid of how much of everyone in there I would see. Thankfully, they all seemed to be taking a break.

"Faelynn!"

I turned and smiled as my mother ran in her heels. She always had this super girly run as she tried to make herself still look sexy and not bust her ass at the same time. I shook my head at her and closed the distance. I didn't want to wait twenty minutes for her to get to me. She pulled me into a hug and cried all over me as she blubbered about missing me.

"I can't believe you're here!"

"Me either, ma."

"What are you doing here?"

"I moved back. Tara came back. Figured now that I have a great job it will keep me out of trouble."

"Well if not, we can always revive Destiny!"

"That is a huge no."

"Did you see Ima?"

"First person I saw when I pulled in. Pretty sure she gave me chlamydia already just from kissing me."

Mom laughed out and pulled me into another hug.

"Does your daddy know you're back?"

"No one but Tara knew I was coming."

"Visiting hours is tomorrow. Should go with me! Gemma usually goes too but I'm sure she would love to see you!"

"How is Gemma?"

"Good. Still Gemma."

I nodded and looked around.

"Studio looks nice."

"Thanks baby. I remember how rough it was when I was in front of the camera. Want to make sure my girls are taken care of."

"What time are you heading up to Stockton tomorrow?"

"Probably around ten. Want us to come pick you up?"

"I can meet you at TM. My car is a little too flashy to be riding around with you two in. Low profile and all. I want to get the oil changed anyway."

She smiled and kissed my cheek again before Ima walked back in. I looked at her and found myself actually smiling. She returned a genuine smile before planting on her fake bitch front. She blew me a kiss and walked back over in front of the camera. I considered watching her work for a while, but there was just something about watching my first love get her brains fucked out that made my stomach hurt. I turned and walked out to the sound of fake moans and bad music in the background.

* * *

I was pulling into TM, with Tara right behind me. When I called to make an appointment to get the oil changed they wanted me to bring it in right then. I wasn't sure who I talked to on the phone because the voice sounded new. I pulled to the right side and got out. Tara followed suite and I followed her over the office. There was a young guy with a mohawk and tattoos on his head. He was cute, but definitely new. He smiled at Tara and gave me an odd look.

"Hey, Tara. Jax isn't here."

"I know. I'm here with her. She needed a ride over to drop her car off."

"Oh, yeah. Wow that didn't take long. We just talked like ten minutes ago."

"Yeah."

I stepped out in front of Tara and handed him my keys. He pulled out a slip and asked me to fill it out. I chuckled almost liking the fact that he didn't know who I was. I looked up at him to see him staring down my shirt as I was bent over filling out the paper. I handed it back to him and blew a kiss. His face turned beat red and he looked down.

"Wait. Delaney. Are you related to Otto?"

"That would be my daddy."

"Holy shit. Uh, Gemma is inside. I'm sure she would want to know-"

"Thanks, baby. I didn't catch your name."

"Uh. Juice."

I laughed and pat his cheek before walking out. Tara caught up to me and elbowed me lightly.

"You're gonna give someone a heart attack around here, Fae."

"Well, let's just hope it isn't Gemma."

She laughed and shook her head.

"You two good by the way?"

"Yeah. It was rocky at first but now that Wendy is gone and Jax and I are doing well she seemed to have backed off."

"Well, good thing none of these guys have a legitimate claim to me or we would have a huge issue."

"Some of them may beg to differ."

We walked in the door of the clubhouse and my eyes immediately fell on Gemma. She stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"About damn time, Faelynn. I thought I was going to be the last damn person to see you."

"Nah, mamma. You know I wouldn't make you wait long."

* * *

Gemma and I had been sitting on the picnic table for hours just talking. Tara had to take back off to work, but Gemma assured I would get a ride home when I wanted one. We had burned through a whole pack of cigarettes and Gem sent Juice to get more. He seemed flustered but Gemma assured me that's just how he was.

"We're gonna have a party here tomorrow. You should come."

"Last time I went to a Sons party I slept with half of the guys."

Gemma laughed and nodded.

"You're a respectful woman now though. Don't trust yourself?"

"Not really. I'm still the same old Fae. Just tend to stay away from people now."

"Bobby is gonna be singing. Well, until he gets too hammered. Clay wanted to pay him for work since he missed his last gig."

"Aww I miss Bobby. I'll talk to him about it."

"Still sing a lot?"

"Every now and then. Been a while since I have sang anything in front of people though. Usually keep it to the shower after a good workout."

"I missed you, baby girl."

"I missed you too, Gem. I missed everyone. I just.. I needed to find myself ya know?"

"I know, baby. You don't seem much different though."

"Yeah I know. I figured out I was pretty genuine here. I've felt like a bit of a phony in New York."

"I think you just needed to come home."

"I just hope I don't fall down that same rabbit hole."

"I'm here for you."

I looked up and saw Bobby pull in. I hopped up and met him at his parking spot.

"Jesus Christ, Faelynn?"

"The one and only, Bobby."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

"So, Gem tells me that you're doing a little show tomorrow."

"Oh, sweetheart, you gotta sing with me."

"Got anything going on today?"

"Nope. Let's go pick out some songs. We'll keep it a surprise though. Guys are gonna lose their shit!"

* * *

The next morning was rough. I had been up most of the night with Bobby working through a few songs he wanted us to sing together. I kept laughing at him though. Most of the songs he picked was just him playing in the background and singing back up every now and then. I had so much fun though. We ended up getting our way through a bottle of whiskey and I had the headache to prove it. I stepped out of the house and pulled my sunglasses on as Gemma and Mom pulled in. I hopped into the backseat and continued drinking my bottle of water.

"Rough night?"

"Something like that. Would I be a bitch if I slept the ride up there?"

"Get some sleep, baby." Mom replied.

I rest my head against the window and let my eyes shut. I was vaguely aware that they were talking about me. I heard mention of most of the guys I knew but I was too damn tired to really care. I never hid the fact that I was a little slut when I was younger. Wouldn't even want to try. I lost track of time and woke up suddenly when I felt the car stop moving.

"Ready for this?"

I looked up at mom and nodded my head. I wasn't though. It had been a long time since I had even spoken to my father, let alone looked him in the eyes. I followed my two mother figures in and through the security check point. We were running a little late so we were able to walk right back into the visiting room.

My heart was in my throat as I spotted my dad sitting at a table. He looked old and worn down. He was wearing thick glasses on his face and his tattoos looked faded. It had always pissed me off that a few year sentence turned into life because the club relied on him so heavily.

"Is that my beautiful Fae?"

"It's me, daddy."

He stood up and let the guard know that he was going to hug me. He got the go ahead and tossed his arms around me. I kissed his cheek and sat down next to him. Gemma and Mom sat down across from us, but he didn't pay her much attention.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came back to Charming."

"When?"

"Yesterday. Was waiting for my credentials to switch over to Cali."

"Where have you been?"

"New York. Worked my way through college. I'm a Psychologist now."

"Damn. I'm proud of you baby."

"Thank you, daddy. How have you been?"

"Been better sweetheart. I'm glad you're back now though. You gonna come visit me?"

"As much as you want me to."

"Every day would be nice."

We both laughed and I rest my head on his shoulder. I had always been closer to my dad than anyone else. I remember how bad my heart shattered when the cops pulled him away. I was pretty sure that was when a part of me snapped. I was so young but my daddy was my hero.

I remember my whole life growing up I looked up to him. I was never naïve enough to think that he was perfect. He was so kind though. There was something in his eyes that just made me feel like he would fight the whole world just to make me smile. He wasn't perfect, but he was the perfect father for me. I figured that if someone so amazing could be punished so harshly, everything else could be damned. It didn't matter if I was a good person because my daddy was a good person and they took him anyway.

I stayed resting my head on his shoulder as he talked with Gemma and Mom. He would pause for a minute and kiss the top of my head before paying attention to them again. My head still hurt, but being here with my dad was well worth the pain. I focused in when Gemma and Mom got up. I sat up as Dad turned towards me.

"I'm glad you're back, Fae."

"Me too. I missed you."

"Why didn't you ever answer?"

"I just.. I needed to find myself. I knew I couldn't do that here. I couldn't find myself being all wrapped up in this life."

"You couldn't find yourself being lost in my world."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You seem to have done well. You seen Ima?"

I groaned and nodded.

"I was hoping she took off somewhere else. Of course I ran into her first thing."

"Seen Opie?"

I felt my chest get heavy. That was a name I hadn't heard in a while.

"No. He still around?"

"Just got out of Stockton not too long ago."

"Him and Donna still together?"

"Two kids. She took off when he went away though."

"Shit."

"You should go see him."

"Not sure that's a great idea."

"He cared about you, Fae."

"I know he did. I couldn't get my head straight between him and Ima though. He didn't deserve that."

"No. He didn't. Doesn't mean he stopped caring about you though. I'm sure Chibs will be excited to see you too."

I lit up at the name. Chibs had always doted on me and adored me. Everyone assumed that it was when my dad went away, but as long as I could remember Chibs and I were close. We stood up as everyone started leaving.

"Come back and see me soon?"

"I will, daddy. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

He kissed my forehead and turned me in the direction towards the exit. I looked back at him and saw that he was being guided away from the room. It was like watching him leave me all over again. I wrapped my arms around my waist and left the prison.

* * *

Mom and Gemma had been waiting outside for me. I didn't feel like talking much so I just climbed in and waited for them. I saw them look between each other and climb in. I reached over the seats and turned the music up, hoping it would get the point across that I just wanted to go home. Of course, my mother was never very good at subtle hints.

"Baby, talk to me."

"I'm fine."

"That was the first time you've seen your father in almost ten years."

"I know that."

"I can tell you're upset."

"Mom I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"But baby-"

"Luann, just let it go. We both know she will talk when she's ready."

I thanked Gemma in my head and curled back up against the window. It wasn't healthy to not talk about it. That's what I would tell my patients. I just really couldn't do it at that point though. Between missing my dad and not wanting to think about Ima and Opie, I just wanted to sleep.

* * *

I woke back up as we pulled into Charming. I sat up and stretched, feeling the full effects of all the stress I was feeling. I watched out the window as we drove through town and straight to TM. We pulled in and my mom kissed me on the cheek before heading towards her car. I could tell I hurt her feelings by not wanting to talk, but I needed time to process everything. I plopped down on the picnic table and lit a cigarette.

"When you're ready to talk, I'm here."

"Thanks, Gem."

"You still gonna sing tonight?"

"Yeah. Don't wanna go breaking Bobby's heart."

"Head back into his room then. He's waiting for you."

I nodded and put my cigarette out. I got to the door before I heard her voice again.

"You know he's gonna be here tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I figured."

"Your dad tell you?"

"Yeah. Said Donna took off."

"She was never the right one for him."

"She was a hell of a lot better than I ever was for him."

"You weren't wrong for loving two people, baby."

"Maybe not. I was wrong for hurting both of them though."

She didn't say anything as I walked into the clubhouse and back to Bobby.

* * *

While Bobby was setting up I got changed. I let my long red hair down and straightened it. I had always wondered where I got red hair considering my mother was a blonde and dad had dark hair. It worked well with my bright blue eyes but I still didn't look like their kid. I put on my tight black leather pants and paired it with a deep red tank top. I slipped on my black leather jacket right as Bobby walked back in.

"Damn, Fae. You trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Nah, just part of the show Bobby."

"Well you look damn good. I'm gonna play for about an hour then I'll call you out. Got a whole band for us."

"Damn. Pulling out all the stops for little 'ol me."

"Anything for you, sweetheart. You good on the set list?"

"Yeah. Where did you set up?"

"Right by the hallway so you can sneak up."

"And you say I'm the dramatic one."

He laughed and pulled me into a hug.

"What are you going to do if they both show up?"

"I have a show to put on. I'll deal with the rest of it later."

He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"One hour. Try not to get too wasted before."

"No promises."


	2. Asking For Trouble

**First song Fae sings is I Hate It When You See Me Cry by Halestorm and the second is I'm Not An Angel by Halestorm. Fae is a bit dramatic so I thought they were fitting haha.**

* * *

I waited impatiently in his room as I listened to him and the band play. I could hear that there were a lot of people out there and it set me on edge. He was right. There was a huge possibility that they both would be there. This was Opie's home and Ima was a pass around from what I knew. She went after Jax hard when I left, but now that Tara was back I could only guess how many people she was with. Most girls did porn because it was good money. Ima did it because she couldn't get enough dick.

 _Alright ladies and gentleman. I have an amazing surprise for you all. I have a great friend of mine that is going to come up and sing with me._

The party picked right back up again as soon as he was done talking. The Sons weren't much for music. They just liked background noise while they partied. I slipped out and on the stage with him. He handed me the mic and the band started.

 _I hate it when you see my cry  
Your t-shirt is soaked through from my eyes  
When I'm not as tough as I should be  
You see the softest part of me  
I hate it when you see me cry  
I hate it when you see me cry_

I looked into the crowd as the band picked up. I immediately locked eyes with Jax. He had this huge smile on his face with his arm wrapped around Tara. He whispered in her ear and she shrugged with a smile. I smiled back as the music picked up.

 _I hate it when I let you down  
When your smile turns around  
And I know I'm supposed to be  
The one who says babe count on me  
I hate it when I let you down_

 _I'm your rock and roll Joan of Arc  
The queen of broken hearts  
I'm here to save the world  
But who will save Supergirl  
What if I'm weak_

 _And I need you tonight  
Oh  
I hate it  
I hate it when you see me cry_

I glanced over at Bobby and he was smiling. I was usually pretty good at finding songs I could belt out. It also made it easier that I was so comfortable around Bobby.

 _I hate it that I need you now  
To hold my hand  
Hear me out  
If I wake up on the bathroom floor  
Will you still want me in the morning  
Oh babe I need you now_

 _I'm your rock and roll Joan of Arc  
The queen of broken hearts  
I'm here to save the world  
But who will save Supergirl  
What if I'm weak_

 _And I need you tonight  
Oh  
I hate it  
I hate it when you see me cry_

 _I hate it when you see me cry_

 _I hate it when you see me cry_

I looked out as I finished and saw Opie staring at me. He was standing in the back with a beer in his hand. He looked older, but not in a bad way. It fit him. My heart was pounding in my chest but I was smarter than to think it was from singing. I couldn't break my eyes from him despite the fact that I could feel my face flushing.

"You good, sweetheart?"

I looked over at Bobby finally and nodded.

"Remember the song I wasn't sure I wanted to sing cause it really hit home?"

"Yeah. Next?"

"Please."

I looked back out and saw him shift his weight. There was a girl next to him trying to get his attention but he kept ignoring her.

 _You made a mistake  
On the day that you met me  
And lost your way  
You saw all the signs  
But you let it go  
You closed your eyes_

 _I shoulda told you to leave  
Cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me  
But you're hard to resist  
When you're on your knees  
Begging me_

I watched as he rolled his jaw. I forced myself to look around the bar at anyone but him. I saw Jax look back at him and nod. I ended up locking eyes with Tig and smirked. He always made it easier to forget. Tig and I had a weird relationship when I was younger. I could talk to him about anything, but any time I needed a good lay he was there too.

 _I tear you down  
I make you bleed  
Eternally  
Can't help myself  
From hurting you  
And it's hurting me  
I don't have wings  
So flying with me won't be easy  
Cause I'm not an angel  
I'm not an angel_

I looked back at Opie and glanced down at my wrist at the world Angel written in scribe across it. It was the name he always called me. It had started as a joke but for some reason it stuck.

 _Hate being that wall  
That you hit  
When you feel like you gave it all  
I hate taking the blame  
When we both know I'll never change_

I tear you down  
I make you bleed  
Eternally  
Can't help myself  
From hurting you  
And it's hurting me  
I don't have wings  
So flying with me won't be easy  
Cause I'm not an angel  
I'm not an angel

 _I wasn't always this way  
I used to be the one with the halo  
But that disappeared when I hate my first taste  
And fell from grace  
It left me  
In this place_

 _Well I'm starting to think  
Maybe you like it_

 _I tear you down  
I make you bleed  
Eternally  
Can't help myself  
From hurting you  
And it's hurting me  
I don't have wings  
So flying with me won't be easy  
Cause I'm not an angel  
I'm not an angel_

 _I'm not an angel_

 _I'm not an angel_

The song ended and everyone started clapping. I locked eyes with Opie again. He had an amused look on his face with his nose stuck up in the air. That had always driven me nuts. Some days I wanted to slap it off his face and others I just wanted to kiss him. I thanked everyone and handed the mic back over. Bobby blew me a kiss and I stepped off onto the floor.

I was immediately pulled into a bone crushing hug by Jax. He picked me up and spun me around causing me to laugh. Jax was always one of my best friends. We grew up together.

"Fae! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm back Jackie Boy."

He kissed my cheek and kept holding me close.

"Hey don't go monopolizing her."

I looked up to see Tig standing there with his arms wide open. I jumped on him and he spun me around laughing.

"Fae, baby. Just couldn't keep away from me huh?"

"You know it Tiggy. You're just so irresistible."

I kissed his cheek as he set me down. I was pulled out his arms straight into Chibs embrace. Chibs was like the father I never knew I needed. I had this huge crush on him when I was younger but he shut that shit down quick. Where as Tig had no problem with rolling around with me for a few hours, Chibs was addiment that it would never happen. It had broken my heart but looking back I'm glad he didn't take advantage of me. It would have been easy to do with him always being the one there for me.

"Lass, my beautiful lass. I miss you so much! When did you get back?"

"Yesterday."

"Breakfast tomorrow?"

"I'd love that."

He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. I was passed through the rest of the guys until I finally broke free and got a drink. I looked around and couldn't be happier. I glanced over at the wall and saw that Opie was still looking at me. He looked like he was going to head towards me until I was blocked by Ima right in my face.

"Hey there, baby."

"Hey, Ima."

"You didn't give me that kind of welcome. I'm a little jealous."

"You were at work, sweetheart. Not only that but it's not like we left things on great terms."

She wrapped her arm around my waist, pushing herself into me. She had a devilish look on her face and it was driving me nuts. I could still feel Opie staring at me from the wall.

"Why don't we head back to a room and we can give each other a proper hello. It's been years."

I hesitated. My body was screaming at me to go with her but my mind knew it was a bad idea. She nibbled at my bottom lip and it took everything in me to slip out of her arms.

"Sorry, Ima. I don't mind talking later but right now I just want to relax."

She pouted and brushed my hair off my shoulder.

"I gave you my number. Give me a call later."

I nodded and forced a smile as she wandered off to find someone else to entertain. I huffed out a sigh and tried to get my body to shut up. Not only had it been a long time since I had even been intimate with anyone, there was just something about your first love. I didn't think there would ever be a time where I wouldn't be set on fire by that woman.

"I'm going out to smoke. Look like you could use one."

I looked up to see Opie next to me. I jumped a little, not realizing he was that close to me. I nodded and followed him outside. He offered me one of his cigarettes and lit it for me.

"So I'm the only one who doesn't get a hug then?"

"Didn't think you'd want me that close to you."

"Been a while. You know I don't hold grudges."

"Been a while. Didn't know if you changed."

He blew out a puff of smoke and shook his head.

"Nah. Nothing really changes around here."

"I noticed."

He nodded.

"Surprised you didn't take off with Ima."

"Trying not to get caught up with porn sluts. Turning a new leaf."

He laughed and smirked down at me with his nose in the air.

"You back for good?"

"Yeah. Probably gonna start working up at the hospital. All my credentials transferred over."

"That's good. You staying with Tara?"

"Yeah. She has room. I have a feeling her and Jax will end up living together though."

"Yeah. After Wendy took off it has been smooth sailing."

"Tare said that Wendy faked a pregnancy to try to get him to stay?"

"Yeah. Should have seen Gemma when she found out it was fake."

I shuddered. I had pissed Gemma off. Once. Never again.

"You're doing good though?"

"I guess. Spent most of my time buried in books when I left here. My high school grades were shit so I had to prove myself my first year. Three point nine GPA got me into a great school. Finish in five years instead of six."

"Never pegged you as a book smart kind of girl."

"Me either."

We both laughed and continued smoking. It always surprised me how easy it was to be around Opie. It always had been. He was always my voice of reason and rock. It made it that much harder when I was torn between him and Ima. They were both totally different people to me.

"You heard Donna left, I take it."

"Yeah. Dad mentioned it. Said you did a few years in Stockton."

"Just got out a few months ago."

"Damn. Lose your touch?"

"Kyle took off. Can't get away if you don't have a ride."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed.

"Nope. I wasn't in for a month before Donna cleared the house out and took off. Served me the divorce papers soon after."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Ope."

"Not your fault. Your dad is actually the one who kept my head on straight. Said he didn't want me to end up like him. Said I had shit to do when I got out."

"He's always been wise considering how much stupid shit he has done."

Opie laughed and nodded. He pulled out another cigarette and offered me one.

"We chain smoking?"

"Just enjoying your company. That alright?"

I smiled and nodded, taking another one.

"So you aren't here to run away from some ex-boyfriend right?"

"Nah. Never really had one there."

"Ex-girlfriend?"

"Nope."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I can see that. I really didn't though. I knew if I didn't finish my education I would end up a pass around some shady club. Didn't want to do that anymore."

"I can respect that. You're back though."

"Yeah. Things are different this time though."

"Didn't look too different when Ima pushed up on you."

"I turned her down, didn't I?"

He laughed.

"Why's that?"

I sighed and shook my head.

"I don't want that life anymore, Ope. I loved that woman. That love fucked me up though. Blinded me."

"I know. Just glad you see that now."

"Heard she's quite the whore now anyway."

He snorted and nodded.

"Could say that. Pretty sure I'm the only one she hasn't fucked."

"Doesn't surprise me. At least I'm not the club whore anymore."

"I never saw you that way."

"Think you and Chibs were the only two who didn't."

"Maybe."

We fell into a silence. It was comfortable though. Being around Opie closed up some wounds I didn't even realize I still had. I was just about to thank him for spending time with me when a fight spilled out of the clubhouse. I looked over to see Tig and Happy throwing punches. Opie and I just watched.

"That happen often?"

"Nah. Not sure what this is about."

Clay erupted out of the clubhouse and yelled for it to stop. Tig walked away but two guys grabbed onto Happy. They both had blood on their faces and looked pissed.

"What the hell is this all about?" Clay boomed.

"Ask Happy." Tig snapped.

"I asked him why Opie had his underage pussy outside instead of him."

"I'll fucking kill ya." Tig growled.

The two went after each other again before Clay yelled. I went to step forward but Opie put his arm up.

"I got this, Ope. I knew something like this would happen."

I stepped forward an got between the two. Tig wouldn't look at me but Happy was glaring a hole through me.

"What right do you have to say anything, Happy Lowman?"

"Come back to get passed around?"

"No I came home. A place that I should have appreciated more. And for you to talk shit about Tig? I remember you fucking me just as much as he did before I was eighteen."

Happy glared at me and turned his back, heading back into the clubhouse.

"Anyone else have a fucking problem with me? Maybe want to bring up the stupid shit I did ten years ago? I'm not the same fucking girl that left here. If anyone has a problem, please form a line by the picnic table."

I turned and went back to where I was sitting. Opie was smirking at me.

"You're asking for trouble, Angel."

"Yeah, well sometimes I think that might be my middle name."


	3. Family Is Important

**Thank you everyone for the follows and reviews! Here is the next chapter.**

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to a bike pulling out front of the house. I had head home fairly early the night before. Admittedly, I considered staying at the clubhouse with Opie. I knew it was bad news though. I would have either ended up in bed with him or having someone else try to get me there. I meant it when I said I didn't want that life anymore.

I hopped out of bed and tossed on a tank top and pair of shorts. I was pulling my hair into a braid as the front door opened.

"Morning, Lass. Late night?"

"Not really. Just still messed up from the time zone change."

"Ya alone?"

"If you're asking if I fucked anyone last night, no. I didn't stay with anyone and I didn't bring anyone home."

"I'm proud of ya."

"Thanks, Chibby."

I followed him out to his bike and hopped on behind him. He handed me a helmet and we took off. We drove through town until we got to the little diner he had always taken me to. We sat in our usual booth and ordered what we always ordered. I couldn't help but smile as he ordered me a hot chocolate with whip cream on it.

"I haven't had hot chocolate in well over ten years."

"Then it's about time then, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So, how have you been my sweet Fae?"

"Living I guess. I kept my nose in the books through college. Helped me graduate early and stay out of trouble."

"Ya said you're gonna work at the hospital?"

"Yeah. Tara said she got me an interview I guess. I mean it helps. Much easier than starting my own practice right away."

"Aye. Ya saw Otto?"

I smiled at how predictable Chibs was. He never called Otto my dad. He just always said Otto. Probably because when I was younger I got pissed and called him Otto a few times. I was always the rebel.

"Yeah I went yesterday with mom and Gemma. He seems broken."

"Aye. Suppose he is. Been through a lot."

"I'd like to say it looks like the club has been taking care of him."

"Ya know better than to being saying shite like that, Fae."

"I know. Especially with Clay. He seems miserable as ever."

"When is your interview."

I smirked at his obvious change of subject.

"I don't know yet. Gotta call Tara later."

"Plan on seeing Ope?"

I paused.

"I want to, but I don't know if it's a great idea."

"And why not?"

"There are a lot of feelings still there that I didn't think would last ten years."

"I don't see the problem."

"There are also a lot of feelings for Ima that I hoped wouldn't be there."

"Feelings or you just want to fuck."

I sighed.

"I don't know, Chibs."

"You have had ten years ta think about it."

I shoveled some food into my mouth, hoping it would give me a minute to get my thoughts together. I had been thinking about it for ten years. It was part of the reason that I never really dated anyone. I knew I wasn't over Charming and the two people I left behind there.

"I care about them in two different ways. My love with Ima didn't have rules. It was free and open. We just did what we wanted because we wanted to. It was my way to rebel even though no one really cared I was with her. She was the first person I fell in love with and I don't know that I can shake it."

"Okay. What about Opie?"

"Ope just kind of happened. It was natural. I didn't even realize I was in love with him until one day I tried to imagine me not seeing him come back on his bike. It was when he started prospecting. It scared the shit out of me. I watched dad leave and never come back. I ached for each and every one of you when you left. Then when he left.. It just ripped me apart. We were inseparable. He was my calm and my steady. He made the world make sense."

"Hard to find a love like that, Fae."

"Which one."

"Ya know which one. We both know that Ima is bad news. She always has been but she served her purpose in yer life. Ya needed that time to be wild and crazy. We both know messing around with Ima is gonna get ya right back into that life."

"I know. That's why I'm staying away from her. Not going to lie and say the temptation isn't there though."

"Of course it is! Big difference between love and lust though, sweetheart."

"You always seem to get me. Sometimes I think you should have been my dad with how amazing you are with words."

Chibs choked on his drink a little and made a weird face as he tried to play it off. Before I could ask him what the problem was, he got up and reached his hand out for me.

"Yer car should be done soon. I'll take ya over there."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just have a lot to get done today. I know Gem could use some help around the clubhouse if ya wanted."

"Yeah I'll go help her."

"You know yer dad loves ya, right?"

"Of course."

"Then don't go wishing someone else was your da. It's disrespectful for everything he's done for ya."

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

He walked away quickly and climbed on his bike. I frowned but followed him on.

* * *

I walked into the clubhouse to the strong smell of sex and stale beer. I covered my mouth and giggled. Gemma was sitting at the bar drinking coffee as the sweetbutts were cleaning up. She smiled at me and asked one of the girls close to her to grab a second cup.

"Morning sweetheart."

"Morning Gem."

"I think this is a first. Usually you're stumbling out of one of the rooms with your clothes half on."

"I'm a changed woman."

"I highly doubt that."

We both laughed as one of the girls handed me a cup. I nodded at her and took a sip.

"What are you doing back here?"

"I had breakfast with our favorite Scott. He said you could probably use some help around here."

"Always could use the company at least, sweetheart. Who did you stay with last night?"

"No one, actually."

Gemma looked at me and I could tell she was trying to see if I was lying.

"Huh. Figured you would end up with either Ima or Opie."

"I spent most of the night avoiding Ima and the rest talking with Ope."

"How did that go?"

"Surprisingly natural actually."

"I'll tell you again, Donna wasn't the one he was supposed to be with."

I sighed and took another sip of the coffee.

"Doesn't really matter anymore, Gem. He has kids with her. He has nothing but bad memories with me."

"Couldn't be too bad if he spent all night talking to you."

"And as soon as I left he probably ended up with one of the girls."

"Nope. He went home right after you did."

"Seriously? That's weird."

"Other than when he first got out, he really doesn't party much. It's been ten years full of heartache for him."

"All the more reason for him to party."

"He won't talk much about it. Only think he has said about it is Otto made him really think about what's important."

I sighed and let the silence fall between the two of us. I tried to tell myself that my father looking out for Opie was strictly club related. I was a fool to think that way though. He knew better than anyone else how much I cared about Ope. I cared enough to fake some great blow up so my leaving was easier on him. The truth was I cried the whole way to New York.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Piney walked in. I felt my chest tighten up. I hadn't seen the old man in just as long as everyone else, but his opinion meant the world to me.

"Now that can't be Faelynn. There is no way she would have come back without telling this old man about it."

"Hey Piney."

I could see Gemma watching my face as we interacted. It made me uncomfortable.

"Well, aren't ya gonna come hug me? You don't get to leave for ten years without a goodbye and just greet me with a hey."

I got up and moved quickly into his arms. I felt tears sting my eyes. He looked so broken down and sad. He kissed the side of my head and I pulled away.

"What's up the oxygen tank, old man?"

"I'm old."

I laughed which caused him to smile.

"I missed that laugh, Fae. It's always been like bells. It's why I gave Opie the idea to call you Angel."

"Oh, come on."

"I'm serious! It's what I imagine an Angels laugh to be. Loud enough to make your soul happy but soft enough to make you feel at home."

"You sure are a charmer, Piney."

"That's why I've had so many old ladies."

"Oh, I thought it was because you loved your liquor more."

He laughed out and nodded.

"That too. You seen Ope yet?"

"Yeah. She has. Spent most of the night talking to him." Gemma answered.

"Just talking?" He asked her.

"Just talking. They both went home to their respective houses, alone."

"Wow. You feeling alright?"

He put the back of his hand on my forehead causing me to laugh again.

"I could live for the rest of my life with that laugh, Fae."

"I've missed you, Piney."

"I missed you too, Angel. This old man needs a drink."

"And that young lady needs to head out to the garage and see if any of the guys need help."

"Wow, Gemma. You must trust me. You never used to send me alone with the prospect of helping the guys." I grinned.

"I'm hoping you can continue keeping your legs closed until you and Opie fix shit."

"Oh for the love of-"

"Go. Go now before Piney and I start bringing up the past and all the stupid shit you did."

I rolled my eyes as I head out the door. Gemma was annoying, but she meant well. Growing up, she always told me I would end up being with a son. For a while she had pegged me to be with Jaxson, but once she saw how volatile we were together she gave up on that. I walked over to the garage and saw Chibs. He made eye contact with me and went right back to working, causing me to frown.

"Hey Chibs."

"I'm a little busy, lass. What do you need?"

"Gemma sent me out here to see if anyone needed help."

"Jaxson is about to go on some runs with the truck. Why don't you go with him?"

"Oh. Okay."

I glanced at him again as Jax handed me a jumpsuit. I laughed as I slipped it on and followed him to the truck.

"Is your old lady gonna be okay with being alone with me?"

"Hmm. Maybe I should call her and let her know I'll be spending the day with my old faithful side piece."

I smacked his arm and laughed. It was actually surprising how well Tara and I got along considering we both had spent just as much time with Jaxson in between the sheets. He had always joked and said I was his side piece, but in all reality we never did anything when him and Tara were together. I think Tara knew that and that's why she accepted our odd relationship. If he was with me during one of their breaks, she knew he wasn't out falling in love with someone. I didn't do the whole love thing, especially with Jax.


	4. Home Is Such A Lonely Place Without You

**Been trying to post this all morning! Shotty internet at its finest -.- Anyway.. here is the next chapter. Thank you everyone for the comments, likes, follows and favorites! I love writing this story :)**

* * *

"So, why are you actually back in Charming? Here to whisk me off my feet?"

"And deal with Tara? Nah. I think I'll leave the love deal up to her."

"Still against the four-letter L word, huh?"

"You could say that."

"You and Opie looked pretty comfy last night."

"We were just talking."

"Didn't say you did anything else. Though I was a little surprised to see you to leave separately."

"I told you, I'm not about that life anymore."

He laughed and focused in on the road. I knew Jax well enough to see that he was thinking. He had grown up quite a bit while I was gone, but at his core he was still the same Jaxson.

"What's on your mind, Jax?"

"Ya know, Opie was pretty wrecked when you left."

"It couldn't have been that bad. He ended up with Donna and two kids."

"It wasn't the same with Donna. He loved her but not like he ever loved you. He just kind of went through the motions with her."

"Why did she leave as soon as he went in?"

"She wanted him out of the club more than anything. She saw it as competition."

"There is no competition. Club comes first. Always."

"See, you get that. She never did. She thought if she made it hard enough on him he would choose her. She had this grand idea that they would leave Charming and never come back."

"He won't ever leave Charming. She must not have really known him."

He nodded as we pulled into a driveway. I looked around to see it pretty barren.

"Taking me out here to kill me?"

"No. Just figured we could actually talk."

"I thought we were."

"Why are you back?"

I sighed and played with the hem on my sleeve.

"I did everything I could to run away. I pushed everyone away and made sure all my connections here were as broken as possible. I cut my family out and that included the club. I thought I was leaving to find myself."

"Did you?"

"I found that my real self belonged here."

"Why did it take so long to come back then?"

"I was afraid."

He chuckled.

"Big tough Fae admitting to being scared."

"Alright. I was terrified. I burned a lot of bridges. It forced me to think that I needed to do everything on my own. It worked though. I busted my ass through college and made sure I built a life for myself. Every goal I accomplished I just made more. I was never happy and never satisfied. When I graduated with my masters and got licensed, I just felt empty. I had accomplished everything I had ever sought out to do but it just wasn't enough. I worked for a few years before Tara called me."

"She told you she was coming back?"

"Yeah. That's when I decided I needed to follow her back."

"You aren't running from anything?"

"No, I'm running back where I belong. Even if nothing works out the way I think it should.. Jax this is my home. I should have realized that ten years ago. I've wasted so much time away from everyone I love. I can't run from the mistakes I've made but I can change the kind of person that I am."

Jax looked at me and ran his hand through his hair. That had always been her nervous tick when he was thinking.

"Opie wasn't the only one hurt when you two took off."

"I know, Jax. I am sorry."

"You didn't even say goodbye."

"You would have tried to stop me."

He paused.

"I guess you're right. I would have at least told Opie what was going on."

"I know. And that's why I couldn't tell you."

"Ya know, at first we thought you were dead."

"I'm so sorry."

He shrugged.

"I'm just glad you're back, Fae. Life in Charming was never the same without you."

"Life without Charming wasn't the same either."

* * *

After a day of working with Jax, I was exhausted. We pulled into the driveway to see most of the guys were there. Tara was sitting on the picnic table with Gemma. I smiled at her as we pulled in.

"Should I be worried you two were alone?" Tara laughed.

"Wait, you two are on a break, right?"

Jax laughed from the other side of the vehicle as I pulled Tara into a hug. She kissed my cheek and head over towards Jax. I walked over to Gemma as she was watching the two talk leaning against the truck.

"They seem to be doing good."

"Yeah. Hopefully it lasts."

"You don't trust her, huh?"

"If I didn't trust everyone who took off without much word, breaking my boys hearts, I wouldn't be able to trust many people."

She side glanced at me as I frown.

"Don't act like I kicked your puppy, Fae."

"I just didn't realize how many people I hurt."

"You and Jax talk?"

"Yeah, and Chibs. He just is acting really strange with me. I made a joke that he should have been my father because he gets me and he kind of blew up at me."

"Ah. He's probably just stressed sweetheart."

"I hope he doesn't hate me."

"He doesn't. I don't think it's in him to hate you."

I shrugged and looked back at Tara and Jax. I smiled at the two. They were holding each other and talking low with smiles on their faces.

"They're adorable."

"They keep acting like that I'm gonna get that grandkid I thought I was gonna get."

"Oh, Ope told me about Wendy."

"Junky whore." She seethed.

I laughed out causing her to glare at me.

"Sorry, just trying to imagine the depths of desperation that woman was in to think faking a pregnancy with your son was a good idea."

She finally chuckled and shook her head.

"Yeah, guess I can see the humor in that."

I heard the clubhouse doors open and turn to see Opie, Tig and Happy walk out. Happy glared at me and I returned it. I learned quickly not to back down from any of the guys, especially the asshole with the tattoos.

"Got a problem, Dopey?"

He stopped dead and whipped around so he was looking at me.

"The fuck did you just call me?"

"You heard me. You sure as hell aren't happy. Thought Grumpy was a little too cliché."

"You better watch your fucking mouth, little girl."

"Oh, is that why you don't like me anymore? Don't like them this far past eighteen?"

Tig burst out laughing, causing Happy to turn towards him. The two argued with each other towards the garage. I could hear Happy growling out threats that were just returned with Tig laughing and egging him on. Gemma quickly excused herself, leaving me alone with Opie.

"You just love pissing him off, don't you?"

"Kind of my specialty."

"You up to anything tomorrow?"

"Just that interview in the morning. Why?"

"Want to go see a few friends. They're looking for a singer. Thought you might want to show them your voice."

"Oh. I don't know. I mean I don't mind going but I'm not sure that me getting back into the scene is a good idea."

"Why not? Their gigs would be nights and weekends. Wouldn't mess with your work at the hospital."

"I'll think about it."

"Alright. You good with riding bitch?"

"Gonna have to be. Not like you'll ride in my pretty car."

He looked over at my Camero and burst out laughing, shaking his head.

"Got that right. I do want to give it a spin sometime though."

"You have a better chance of getting my clothes off than getting behind the wheel of that car."

He looked at me with his nose up in the air. The smirk on his face made me realize what I said and I felt my face blush.

"I'll remember that."

I gave him a tight-lipped smirk and nodded. He chucked and squeezed my shoulder before walking towards the garage. Happy and Tig were still arguing as they finished up working on a vehicle.

"That probably wasn't the smoothest thing you've ever said." Gemma said from behind me.

"Shoot me now, Gem."

She laughed and hugged me from behind, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and planting a kiss to the side of my head.

* * *

After my major foot in mouth moment, I decided to go see my mother. I hadn't seen or talked to her since I snapped at her at Stockton. I knew she meant well, but we just never had that mother daughter connection that she always wanted us to have. Honestly, the only time we ever really had much in common was when I was spreading my legs for a camera.

I watched her as she worked. She really did care about her girls that worked for her. She gave them an ample amount of breaks and made sure that they were comfortable with what they were doing. Some of the girls even gave her some ideas of what they thought would be good and she listened to them. A far cry from what she started out in when she was in front of the camera.

Part of me knew I was there to see Ima too. She had text me a few times asking to see me but I blew her off every time. She was bad news but it was still so hard to stay the hell away from her. She was working with a girl named Lyla. The Safron Sisters was her new gig apparently. I had asked mom if she was getting enough dick at the clubhouse that she didn't need to get paid to take it anymore.

She was so fake on screen. Her moans and movements were just wrong. It made me flash back to the times we were together. Her moans were softer, her touch wasn't over the top. It wasn't about pleasing an audience, it was all about pleasing me. Ima was the first person to make sure that I was actually pleased at the end of the night. She taught me how to do the same. For such a selfish person, she was such a selfless lover when she wanted to be.

The woman she was working with was pretty. She was more classic pretty than fake plastic hot that Ima was. She had long blonde hair and was wearing a bright red lipstick. She seemed a little twitchy though. Mom swore up and down that none of her girls were using, but I could see it from a mile away. I looked at her slender arms and didn't see any track marks. I assumed she was snorting as opposed to sticking a needle in her arm. Maybe it was just to keep herself going. Some women just couldn't keep up with the lifestyle. Myself included.

I heard my mother call for a break and watched as Ima helped Lyla to her feet. The way Lyla looked at her was off though. As soon as the camera stopped rolling the look of lust was wiped off her face. She had absolutely no interest in Ima. Ima said something to my mother then sauntered her way over to me.

"Hey, there Angel."

"Please don't call me that."

"Is beautiful better?"

"I guess."

She pulled at my legs that were propped up on the chair next to me, causing me to sit up right. She pushed my knees apart and slipped herself between my legs, resting her hands on my thighs.

"You never called me back."

"Sorry. I've been really busy."

"I get the feeling you've been avoiding me."

"Maybe just a little."

She pouted her lips out and bat her eyelashes at me. She had these huge fake lashes on that made her eyes really pop. She slightly leaned her torso in so I had a great shot right down her too low top.

"Why would you ever avoid me, beautiful?"

"Maybe because you push up on me like this?"

"Aww, you don't want little old me anymore?"

She leaned in, keeping her eyes locked with mine. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her lips against mine. Every ounce of my body was screaming to give in, to just let her get what she wanted. I wanted it so badly. I wanted to remember what it felt like to have her hands roam all over my body and listen to the sweet moans escape her lips. I put my hands gently on each side of her face. I contemplated pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. All the motions flashed through my head as to what would happen after I did. I pulled her face away gently.

"I can't do this, Ima."

She moved forward to kiss me again but I tightened my hands just slightly, blocking her.

"I'm sorry. I just can't."

She pulled away and the look of dejection broke my heart.

"Are you done working for the day?"

"No. Just a small break."

"Long enough for me to explain myself?"

"I get off in an hour. Hopefully you'll still be here."

She pressed her lips to mine quickly again before I could stop her. She walked away without looking back to me. As she walked away I noticed my mom was watching with a worried look on her face. She loved that Ima was her girl, but she never wanted someone like that to be the one I loved.

* * *

I sat behind the studio smoking a cigarette. I thought about sitting inside and talking in there, but there was just too many people who would love to hear the gossip as it happened. I heard footsteps behind me, followed by arms being wrapped around my waist. Of course, she decided to sit right behind me, making sure she was close to me.

"I did say talk and not cuddle, right?"

"You're so uptight. You know I could make you relax, babe."

"Ima, sweetheart, I really need to talk to you."

She swung herself around so she was straddling me, sitting in between my legs. She took the cigarette from my hands and took a drag, replacing it into my mouth when she was done.

"Talk to me, baby."

"Ten years ago, I was wrapped up between you and Opie."

"Is this what its about? He isn't even interested in anyone anymore since his wife left."

"Please let me finish."

She smiled sweetly at me and brushed my hair behind my ear.

"I know it didn't bother you much because the two of us just took what we wanted, but I really hurt Opie. I couldn't figure out what I really wanted and it messed me up."

"I know. If it's commitment you're looking for I can do that. I mean I still have to work, but other than that I'd be all yours."

"I loved you, Ima. You were my first love. You taught me things I can never thank you enough for."

"I don't really like the past tense in that sentence."

"I can't go back down that rabbit hole though. I need to find myself back in Charming without anyone. I need to know who I am not wrapped up in someone's arms. I've been alone for ten years. I need to be just a while longer."

She frowned and nodded.

"I understand. I guess I was just hoping that when you came back part of it was for me."

"I'm sorry, Ima."

She pout again and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I'll give you your space, baby. But I hope you know that as soon as I think you're showing interest in anyone else.. I'm gonna be fighting for you."

I sighed. I knew it was too easy for her to just give up. I was just hoping that something shinier would catch her interest and she would forget about me. Me being back was still fairly new. She always had an interest in whatever was the newest. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine sweetly. She kept her lips close to mine when she pulled away.

"I wish you would just let me show you how much I still care about you. Just one last time. I could make you realize how good we could be together."

I let out a shaky breath. She used her legs to pull herself closer to me, making our bodies flush together. She gently wove her fingers through my hair and pressed her lips against mine again, this time rougher and filled with passion. A small breathless moan escaped my lips which broke me out of the trance Ima put me in. I pulled away from her and slipped out from under her.

"I'm sorry, Ima. I just can't."

I fixed my hair and watched her pout.

"What you just felt is why I can't just give up on us. We were good together, Fae. You can't deny that."

"I need to go inside and help my mom."

"I'll see you soon, babe."

I got up and quickly walked inside, trying not to get frustrated. I let the door slam behind me and walked right into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and wanted nothing more than to punch my reflection. I was trying so hard to stay true to what I wanted, but I was so close to falling back down that damn hole.

* * *

"Faelynn, as much as I love you being here baby, you need to stay away from Ima."

"I know."

"She is such bad news for you!"

"I know."

"You just need to tell her you aren't interested and that's the end of it."

"Mom, I know."

"Can't you just-"

"MOM."

She finally stopped rambling and looked at me.

"I agree with everything you're saying. I get it. I told her the same."

Relief washed over her face. I almost felt bad for the fact I was kind of lying. She didn't know about the heated make-out session we had.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just worry about you. I don't want you taking off again when she breaks your heart."

"I'm not going anywhere, mom. I'm here. Hey, dad has visitation tomorrow right?"

"Yeah. Why you gonna go up there?"

"I think so. Opie is taking me to a show tomorrow night but I should have time to see dad first."

"Oh, I think that's a great idea."

"Seeing dad or spending time with Opie."

"Both." She chirped.

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"You're so transparent, mom."

"And you have your fathers temper."

"I don't ever remember dad getting as mad as I do."

"You and I remember your father very differently."

I gave her a weird look but decided to ignore her. My mother loved to be dramatic, especially when we were alone. I knew my father and I knew damn well he never even raised his voice at my mother. He saw her as the sunshine that kept the world spinning.

"Alright, well I'm gonna head home I think."

"Okay, sweetheart. Give your daddy my love!"

I kissed her cheek and walked out to the car. Just as I was about to start driving I saw a text from Gemma asking me to stop by her house.


	5. What I've Done

**Sorry for the delay! Been sicker than a dog. However, here is a good chunk for you :)**

 **I need some input though! I've been having ideas of how they were when they were little. They would have grown up together much like Jax and Ope did. I know its not exactly how the show goes just because Ope was gone for a while. However, I think it will work well for them to have that much history. Would you like to see the flash backs? I'll input them as she thinks of them.**

 **Also, ya'll are blowing me away with the response to this story! Thank you so so so SO much! Much love, always.**

* * *

I walked into Gemma's house to her bossing around a few of the croweaters. She was so busy she didn't even notice that I was standing in the doorway.

"Feeding an army, Gem?"

"Yeah. SAMCRO."

I laughed and shut the door behind me. The girls moved to the other side of the kitchen to keep working.

"No one told me there was going to be a dinner tonight."

"I know. I just figured it out, honestly."

"Well, good thing its tonight and not tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Going out to a show with Opie tomorrow."

"Good."

I watched as they worked, surprised she didn't try to give me some type of job. She was barking orders at the women around but barely even noticing who she was talking to.

"Why did you need me here?"

"Cause everyone will be here soon to eat."

"That's all you wanted?"

She stopped and looked at me.

"What's wrong Fae?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

She wiped her hands off and told the girls to finish what they were doing. She grabbed my wrist and brought me out back. She lit a cigarette and handed me one.

"Alright, talk."

"I saw Ima today."

"Oh, Jesus Christ."

"I went up to see mom and of course she was there."

"She works there."

"Yes, Gemma. I know the first love I ever had is a porn star. I am very much so aware."

She took a drag off her cigarette and laughed.

"Ya know, growing up I really didn't think you would be the kid mixed up with a porn star."

"You act like your son hasn't messed around with the same one."

"I really don't want to think about it." She shuddered.

She took another drag and looked at me with worried eyes.

"You alright?"

I hesitated.

"You want honesty or what I want to answer."

"Honesty."

"No. I'm not. It's so fucking hard to tell her I don't want her. 'Cause I do."

"In what way?"

I sighed.

"Not in a romantic way. She just sets my body on fire."

"Anyone else ever get you like that?"

"Just Ope."

"You still going with him tomorrow night?"

"Yeah."

"Good. He's gonna be here tonight too. If I were you, I would talk to him about today. Everything. No secrets and no hiding shit. We both know what happens when you hide Ima shit from him."

I sighed, again.

"Yeah. You're right. We aren't together though."

"Doesn't matter. If you even think for a second he might want to be with you, you need to talk to him. Don't repeat your mistakes, Fae."

I nodded as she whisked back inside, telling the girls everything they did wrong in the five minutes we were outside. I tried to help but anytime I got close I was met by a finger pointed towards the dining room. I sighed and finally listened. At least that meant I was considered family.

* * *

"Hey."

I looked up to see Opie standing, with two beers, by the chair next to mine.

"Am I in your seat?"

"No. Mine is the one right next to yours."

"What a coincidence."

He rumbled out a laugh and handed me the beer in his left hand.

"Gemma thought you might want this."

"Very much so. Thank you, Ope."

"She also said you wanted to talk."

"Jesus Christ, I swear the hag can't stay out of anything."

"I heard that you little brat!" Gemma yelled from the kitchen.

Opie chuckled and motioned towards the back door. I quickly got up and he followed me out, shutting the door behind him. We stayed on the porch but I looked over to see Gemma peeking through the window. I glared at her and she took off back towards the kitchen yelling at the girls some more.

"Surprised you aren't in there helping."

"I tried. She said it's just for the hussies to do. First time in my life I've been in Charming and not grouped with the whored."

Opie laughed out and took a swig of his beer. He plopped down on the deck and I sat down next to him. He never had to ask me to sit next to him, we always just kind of ended up that way.

"So, what's up?"

"I saw Ima today."

I saw him stiffen for a split second before forcing himself to relax again.

"Go to your moms place?"

"Yeah. I wanted to see her. Last time I saw her was right after seeing dad. Kind of snapped at her."

"She try to get you to talk about your feelings?"

"You go it."

He took another drink. I could see him fighting with himself. I knew he wanted to know what happened between me and Ima but in all reality it wasn't much of his business.

"You can ask me, Ope."

He looked at me and gave me a sideways smile.

"You two back together?"

"No."

He let out a sigh but quickly tried to cover it with a cough. He lit up a cigarette and offered me one.

"One of these days I'm gonna need to buy my own pack. Keep stealing you and Gem's."

He laughed again as he took a long drag.

"If you and Ima aren't back together, what did you need to talk about?"

"Just wanted to tell you about it. Don't want to make the same mistakes I made ten years ago."

"And what mistakes would those be?"

"Keeping you in the dark and ignoring the obvious chemistry between us."

He nodded but kept looking ahead.

"You still have feelings for her?"

"I think I'm always gonna have some type of feelings for her."

"Yeah I guess I can see that. I'm always gonna love Donna even though she was shit for me."

"Hey, she gave you two kids."

"That I'll never see again." He snapped.

I went silent.

"I'm sorry, Fae. Didn't meant to take that out on you."

"It's okay."

"Anyone else you have feelings for?"

"Do you need to ask?"

"Yeah. I do."

I laughed and dramatically took a drink, making myself look like I'm thinking really hard.

"Well, I mean I think I'll always think Jax is sexy."

"That's gross."

We both laughed and he finally looked at me.

"I kinda thought ten years away from you would help. That I would come back here and ask myself why the hell I even ever liked you."

"That how you feel?"

"No. Now I just ask myself why the hell I ever left."

Opie looked at my face, looking for some type of lie. I just held my gaze on him. There wasn't a single part of me that had lied to him. I wondered if I had been that honest ten years ago where we would be now. Before I knew what was happening, he put his hand on the left side of my face and pressed his lips against mine. I inhaled sharply and froze. He pulled away and I could see his cheeks were flushed lightly.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? I'm the one who froze." I laughed.

"Because you didn't want me to?"

"Did I say that?"

"No but you seemed-"

"You just surprised me, Ope."

"Aren't I supposed to kiss the pretty girl that just told me she is asking herself why she broke my heart ten years ago?"

"I guess I just-"

He pressed his lips against mine, again. This time I reacted and kissed back. This kiss was nothing like what I felt when Ima kissed me. This wasn't just lust. This was ten years of broken hearts and longing. It was like coming home again and feeling the same comfortable embrace that you've known your whole life you were meant to feel. I felt whole again when I didn't even fully realize I wasn't. He pulled away but stayed close to me.

"Wow." I whispered.

"Yeah."

The door flung open to a very smug looking Gemma.

"Foods ready, love birds."

Opie started laughing and helped me up. He pulled me into his arms and held me close. Although, I barely came up to his chest, I felt so comfortable. I felt at home.

"You still gonna go to the show with me tomorrow?"

"Do I have much of a choice?"

"Hmm. No."

I laughed and followed him inside to a table full off hooligans. Hooligans I called family.

* * *

It was incredibly distracting to have Opies hand on my leg throughout dinner. I was somewhere between wanting to just keep smiling at him and dragging him down the hallway. I knew I wanted to take this, whatever it was, slow but the small secret touch we were sharing beneath the table was heavenly.

"So, Fae, seen your dad at all?" Clay asked.

"Yeah. Saw him the second day I was here. Gonna go see him again tomorrow."

"Mind if I tag along?"

"You gonna ride in my cage?"

"Sure. Heard you have a hell of a hot car out there."

"Yeah and I didn't even need to steal this one."

Jax almost spit his food out as he burst out laughing. Tara giggled next to him and Gemma crossed her arms.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Fae. Don't." Jax said as he pointed his fork at me.

"Oh, Jax never told you guys?"

Gemma and Clay exchanged a glance and shook their heads no.

"Jax, Opie, Tara and I were out for a ride. I loved the little Camaro I saw down the road. Guy had cut me and Ope off while we were riding. So, I slipped off the bike and hot wired it. Took it for a hell of a ride before dumping it in a ditch."

Jax had his head in his hands and Tara's face was beat red. Opie squeezed my leg but was smiling from ear to ear.

"How the hell did you learn how to hotwire a car."

Chibs cleared his throat from down the table and raised his hand.

"Aye, that would be me. Car came in once and we needed ta move it and couldn't find tha keys. Showed the lass how to hotwire and hide the evidence."

Clay shook his head and looked back at me.

"Last I heard the cops figured he got drunk and just tried to hide it. They found no evidence of tampering with the car."

Everyone went silent waiting to see how Clay would react. When his laugh boomed out across the house everyone else joined him. Jax continued shaking his head but joined in on the laughter.

"I knew then you were the girl for me." Opie said quietly in my ear.

I smiled back at him. That was the exact moment I knew he was right for me too. What I didn't tell anyone was the fact that Opie is the one who handed me the screw driver to break into it in the first place.

* * *

The ride up to Stockton with Clay was pretty uneventful. He wasn't a big talker and I wasn't one to really make meaningless conversation. Plus, my mind was on the night before. Opie had kissed me and followed me home to make sure I made it. He stuck around talking to me for a good hour until Tara made it home. He kissed my cheek in front of her which only made her ask me a million and one questions. I was tired from staying up all night with her.

"It make your nervous to see your dad?"

"The prison makes me nervous. Dad never makes me nervous."

"That's good. Man loves ya."

"Yeah I know. He used to tell me he would move mountains just to see me smile. Just to keep me safe."

"And he has."

"He has?"

"I meant he would. Sorry. Old age."

"You and Piney just love bringing up your old when you mess something up, huh?"

"Well, when the shoe fits."

I laughed as we pulled into the parking lot. I popped the car into park and sighed.

"You alright, kid?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"Mind if I have five minutes alone with him first?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. Just let him know I'm here to see him."

Clay nodded and got out of the car. I was curious as to why he wanted to talk to my dad, but I knew better than to ask. My father would tell me anything I wanted to know. Hell, even Jax, Opie and Chibs would answer me. Clay always made me uneasy though. He gave me the impression that he would go through anyone and everything to keep his precious spot.

After a few minutes of being lost in though, I hopped out of the car and walked in the front door. Just as I was signing in, Clay was walking out.

"He's all yours, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Clay."

He nodded and head outside after I handed him the keys. It was hot outside and the last thing I needed was for the large man to overheat inside my car. I didn't want to deal with that at all. I walked inside to see my dad sitting at the table. His face looked troubled, but it lit up as soon as he saw me.

"Hey, baby girl."

"Hey, daddy."

He pulled me into a quick hug and sat me down across the table from him.

"Glad you came to see me. I had court this morning."

"Everything okay?"

"They gave me life, babe. Visits are gonna be a little more rough coming here soon."

"Life! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"Fae, baby, I need you to calm down."

"Is that why Clay came here? To see how it went?"

"I asked him to come. I wanted him to make sure you and your mom are taken care of."

"I can take care of myself." I growled.

"Charing isn't the same anymore, baby. The club isn't the same."

"I'm not sure why you're telling me all of this. You telling me to run?"

"No. I just want you to be careful. Stick close to Opie and Jax. They love you."

"Dad, are you going to be okay?"

He hesitated and looked me in the eyes. All I could see was pain. My father had lost so much in his life, doing what Clay had asked of him. He always did what was asked of him and it ended with was a life sentence. I felt the tears sting my eyes, but I tried to hold them back.

"I've lived this life for as long as I can remember, Faelynn. I've seen and done a hell of a lot more. There have been two good things in my life; you and your mother. When you left, I thought nothing mattered anymore. But baby, look at you! You're incredible. You are absolutely beautiful. You're stronger than I could ever have imagined."

"I'm not going to see you again, am I."

"I don't know baby."

He looked over at the guard who nodded back. He slid his folded up hoodie across the table to me and put his hand on mine.

"I want you to have this. I don't know if or when I will see you again, baby. I want you to know you're safe and loved. Always remember that, okay?"

I nodded, knowing if I started talking I would cry. The alarm went off, signifying that visitation hours was over. Dad stood up and quickly came to me, pulling me in close. I cried into his chest and he tightened his grip. All too soon, the same guard who nodded at him came over and put his hands on our shoulders.

"Time to go, Otto."

Dad nodded and kissed my forehead. The guard led me out the door, handing me the folded up hoodie as I did.

"You forgot this, miss."

I nodded at him and held it close to my chest. I had no idea how my dads things still smelled like how I remembered, but I was glad it did. It reminded me of when I was young. They took him away and I spent at least three months cuddling with his t-shirts to get myself to go to sleep. The kids at school had always picked on me for keeping something of his with me. That was the first time Opie and Jax got in a fist fight over me.

I got outside to see Clay sitting on the hood of my car. He looked solemn.

"How ya holding up, kid?"

"Did you know this was going to happen?"

"I knew it was a possibility. Before you go ripping my head off, he asked me not to tell you. He didn't want to give you a reason to run again."

I nodded and clung the hoodie to my chest.

"Want me to drive?"

I nodded and handed him the keys. It all made sense now. The big family dinner and Clay making a big show of wanting to spend time with me. It was all about him being here so I didn't run. I was glad though, I wasn't sure how far I would drive if I was getting behind the wheel.

* * *

I had dropped Clay off at the clubhouse and head home. I needed some time to myself to calm down. When I pulled into the driveway, Opie was sitting on his bike waiting for me. He walked over and opened the door for me, pulling me into his arms.

"You knew?"

"Clay called me when you went inside. Said you could probably use me around."

"Yeah."

I reached back in and grabbed the hoodie, pulling it just right to see a notebook fall out.

"What's that?"

"Dad gave it to me."

"How did he get that to you without it being screened?"

"One of the guards nodded at him. Must have paid him off or something."

"They all really like him. Anything he needed they worked with him."

I contemplated opening the notebook but I just wasn't ready. I carried it inside and put it in my drawer. Opie watched me from the doorway.

"You still up to going tonight?"

"Actually, I think that's what I need. Sitting in here and pouting doesn't change anything."

"They gave him life?"

"Yeah. I guess he just did too much for the club."

He nodded and watched me pick things up around the room. He knew better than anyone I didn't like talking when I was upset. He was the first one I saw after they took my dad. My mom refused to take time off work, so she dropped me off twenty minutes after the cops dragged him away, at the clubhouse.

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, Fae."_

 _"_ _Hi."_

 _"_ _That your dads hoodie?"_

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _"_ _That's cool he let you have it."_

 _I shrugged._

 _"_ _When my dad went away I wore his kutte around for days. Eventually they took it 'cause they were afraid I was going to get it dirty. Figured he would beat my ass for it."_

 _"_ _Your dad went away?"_

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _"_ _Were you.. did it scare you?"_

 _He looked around to make sure no one was listening._

 _"_ _Yeah. These cops just came busting in all over the place. My mom was so pissed."_

 _I giggled at the fact he swore. Even though I knew what my mom did and everyone always swore it was funny to hear someone my age saying it._

 _"_ _That's why I was gone for a while. Mom took me. I chose to come back though. I'm gonna wear a patch just like them some day."_

 _"_ _I hope you don't go to jail."_

 _He smirked at me._

 _"_ _Nah, I'm too good for that."_

* * *

I smiled and realized Opie was giving me the same smirk, all these years later.

"What's so funny?"

"Just remembering how you were there for me when dad went away."

"You looked miserable."

"I was."

I went over to the closet and started going through all my clothes.

"Is this like a formal thing?"

"Nah. Just wear what you normally would if you were going to a gig. They're just gonna be jamming."

"Alright. What time you wanna go?"

"As soon as you get dressed."


	6. Familiar Face In The Crowd

**I bet ya'll thought I forgot about my writing! Here I am though. Between my laptop breaking, the semester and my story being erased at least three times.. it took some time. I have a crap ton written though so i'll post some more up tomorrow :) This is kind of a filler chapter, but its building up Fae so you get to know her better :)**

* * *

We rolled up to a large house with a ton of people outside. I could see there were even more people outside. Everyone had a drink in their hands and seemed to be having a great time. I could hear music playing.

"I thought you said it was a small thing."

"For these guys, this is small. They play all over California."

He parked the bike and helped me off. He draped his arm across my shoulder as we got looks. He was wearing his beanie and kutte. I had on a black leather jacket and a pair of leather pants with my knee high riding boots. I hadn't done much to my hair so it was wild and all over the place. I realized we totally looked the part for bikers. He led us up to the backyard where there was a stage set up.

"I thought they needed a singer?"

There was a guy standing up there singing, fairly poorly.

"They do. This is kind of an open try out. They let anyone and everyone sing a song with them."

"So kind of like karaoke with a live band."

"Yeah. They know you're coming though."

We walked up and the song ended. The guitarist yelled out to Opie and pulled us up on the stage. The guy singing stumbled off, incredibly intoxicated.

"Hey, Brad. This is Fae."

"Damn, you sure dressed the part. Ope here said you have a hell of a voice."

"I guess so." I laughed.

"We're gonna take a break here in a bit. Have like three or four more people that want to sing. Then we can chat."

"Sounds great. We're gonna be down grabbing a drink." Opie responded

Opie hopped down then extended his hand for mine. I reached down, taking his hand and he helped me down.

"I could have handled that."

"I know."

I smiled at him as he tossed his arm across my shoulders and we walked over to where the drinks where. I remembered back to when I went to my first party with Opie. We had snuck out, not that it was hard for me. With my dad locked up and mom spreading her legs every day, I didn't have much guidance.

Opie had picked me up and we took off on his bike. We met up with Jax and Tara, of course. It was this huge party and the guys were wearing their kuttes. It usually meant there were no problems, but every now and then someone would try to get fresh with me. Everyone in town knew who my mother was and I caught hell for it.

 _I tried to push the guy back from me but he had ahold of my arms. I had turned him down a few times. Every time Opie or Jax walked away, he tried pushing up on me._

 _"'_ _Cmon sweetheart, I can show you way more fun that those leather fags can."_

 _"_ _Let me go."_

 _"_ _I heard how easy your mom is. I'm sure you learned a few things."_

 _"_ _Let her go."_

 _I heard Jax from behind me. I went to turn away but the guy tightened his grip._

 _"_ _What the hell are you gonna do about it?"_

 _"_ _Me? Nothing. Might wanna turn around though."_

 _The guy turned but kept holding onto my arms. As soon as he turned, his face was hit by Opie's very large fist. The guy fell over and Jax steadied me so I wasn't pulled down with him. Opie gave me his signature grin and flipped his long hair out of his face._

 _"_ _You good?" Jax asked._

 _"_ _Yeah. I'm fine. I could have handled that."_

 _"_ _I know."_

 _Opie went back to talking to Jax like nothing had even happened._

"Where's your head now?"

"Just remembering the first time you brought me to a party."

"Ah, when I knocked that asshole out."

"Yeah."

"That was fun. I haven't been in an old fashioned fist fight in a long time."

"You were like a foot taller than him and punched him as soon as he turned."

"Didn't say a fair fight, Angel."

He smirked at me again before handing me a drink.

* * *

We spent the next few hours listening to music and talking. It felt so natural to be around Opie. I didn't have to think or worry. I knew I was comfortable and that was okay. I chatted with the band for a while. They seemed nice enough and played a variety of music, just like I did. We set a date for a week out for me to come play with them. Part of me was relieved that I didn't need to sing in front of a crowd with a new band all together.

Opie and I pulled into the driveway and he cut the engine. I got off the back of his bike slowly, not really wanting the night to end. It was a welcomed relief to stay away from all of my problems, but I knew inviting Opie in wasn't the right move either.

"So this is where we say goodnight, yeah?"

I nodded at him and gave him a soft smile.

"You gonna be alright, Fae?"

"I think so. Thanks for tonight."

"Not a problem. Hope the band stuff works out for you."

"Well, I mean I still have a masters degree to fall back on." I laughed.

"I love seeing you smile when you perform though."

I felt my face flush. Opie had always pushed me to sing. In fact, he hadn't ever really missed a single time I sang. I frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"It just.. the more time we spend together the more I realize you've always been there for me."

"Always will be too."

"I hurt you so badly."

"I made it out alright."

"I guess."

He got off his bike and pulled me into his arms. I hesitated but wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt him kiss the top of my head as I tried my hardest to hold myself together.

"You gonna be alright alone, Angel?"

"I don't know." I whispered.

"I'll stay. I just need to leave early in the morning."

"Ope I-"

"I don't expect anything. I don't think you need to be alone tonight. I know how you like to hold shit in."

I searched his eyes, almost afraid of what I would find. He meant every word he said though. I led him to the door and opened it, letting us both in. He shut and locked it behind him and followed me down to my room. He slipped his kutte off, setting it on the dresser next to the bed. He plopped down on the bed and turned the tv on.

"Make yourself at home, I guess." I laughed.

"Already did, Angel."

I shook my head and grabbed some clothes, heading towards the shower. I quickly cleaned myself up, remembering the notebook inside of my dresser. I contemplated reading it but it could wait. I had waited my whole life to hear what my father had to tell me. I could wait another night. I walked out and climbed into bed with Opie, letting him wrap his arm around me.

"You sure you're okay being here?"

"Yeah. I let Clay know where I was. He wants me to hang back."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's just a patch over party anyway."

I nestled into him, glad that I wouldn't wake up alone. The day had been rough but Opie being around made my life easier. He had always been my rock and I was glad that didn't seem to change in the ten years I was gone.

* * *

The next week went by without a hitch. I got the job at the hospital and started practicing with the band once a week. I really wanted to be with them more often, but they understood why I couldn't. They said I had a great voice and would gladly work around my schedule.

I spent most of my time at the clubhouse if I wasn't at work. I wasn't really sure what Opie and I were, but we spent a lot of time together. Gemma pushed to know what was going on but I was more than happy to just go with the flow. As long as we were enjoying our time together, I was happy.

We pulled up to the fair together, following Jax. Opie had been in a mood but I couldn't figure out why. As we parked I looked over to where Ope was glaring to see Kyle with a hot young woman. I looked over at Jax, confused as to why Opie wasn't trying to kill him yet.

"He seems to be doing good for himself."

"He's still alone" Jax replied.

"He should be dead." I muttered.

We all walked into the fair and I head over to help Gemma. I kept an eye on Opie and saw that he followed Kyle away. I stayed focused on working, not making much of an effort to talk to anyone.

"Alright, sweetheart. What's going on."

"Kyle is here."

"Yeah, I know. Club passed him coming to see his kid."

"Kid deserves better than that. I think the fucker still has his ink too."

"What?"

"Yeah. He went to fix his shirt and it looked like it on his back. I didn't say anything though cause I know Jax saw it too."

"Shit."

We both fell into a silence until Jax walked up.

"Fae, can we talk?"

I set the towel down I had been cleaning with and walked over to him.

"You know he's the one who put him in jail right?"

"Yeah. And that is why he shouldn't be here."

"Wasn't my call. Club decision."

"Opie gonna walk out of the gym?"

"Of course."

"Is Kyle?"

Jax just smirked at me.

"Everything will be taken care of, sweetheart. Opie might need you tonight though."

"You know I'd do anything for any of you."

"I know."

He kissed the top of my head and went over to talk to Tara. I smiled at the two of them. They seemed so damn in love. There wasn't any pain or anger between them. Just adoration and blossoming love.

"They seem smitten." Gemma grumbled.

"I thought you were good with her?"

"I don't trust her. Something is up with her."

I ignored her, knowing that Gemma would never trust anyone that her son was with. Especially not after Wendy. I couldn't really blame her but I made a point to tell myself to just let it go. I knew I could never really get away from the club, but I didn't want to delve into it more than I was already in it. I watched it slowly push Gemma into a cold heartless woman. I looked over as Opie was walking up, bleeding from his face.

"You okay?"

"Yep."

I checked his face over quickly, hoping he wouldn't need stitches. I scowled, hating that his face was ripped up. He smirked at me.

"Be careful, you almost look like you care."

"Oh. Dear. I guess I need to stop that. Gotta go back to that heartless bitch you like so much."

He ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek. It always made me laugh when he would bend down to kiss me. The height difference was awkward at first but he didn't seem to mind it.

"I need you to stay here for the fireworks. I'll come back and get you."

"Everything okay?"

"Yep. Just promise you will stay, babe."

I hesitated. If he was making a point to have me stay, there was something big going on. I had a bad feeling but I knew telling him not to go just was going to cause issues.

"I promise. Just be safe, okay?"

"I'll be back soon to get you."

He kissed my cheek again and took with Jax and a few of the other guys.

"Looks like you're heading in the right direction to be an old lady."

"Yeah if he doesn't get himself killed or thrown in jail again."

* * *

I spent the night helping Gemma. We ran into a few new faces but I didn't pay much attention. My mind was on Opie and the rest of the guys. Something was going on and the fact that it was serious enough that Opie gave me strict instructions to stay here made me even more nervous. I was closing up the stand when Gemma got a phone call. She murmured into the phone and swore under her breath as she snapped it shut.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go find Kyle's ex-wife."

"Why?"

"He still had his ink."

There wasn't anything else that needed to be said. The fact that he was able to live was a miracle. Him not removing his ink was a slap in the face to everyone in the club, especially Ope. He had served hard time because of him.

I watched Gemma walk through the crown. Kyle's son had just started playing with his band and the town was eating it up. My heart broke for him. I knew what it was like to look out in the crowd and hope for your fathers face.

 _I finished singing and looked at my friends. It was just a talent show, but we had rocked the stage. I had a ton of nervous energy that day. There was a possibility that my father could be out and in that crowd. He had a parole meeting that morning so I kept busy._

 _I turned to looked out in the crowd and searched every face. The longer I looked the more I felt my heart break. There had been many times that I had hoped that I would see my father in his kutte again, but that day just seemed so much more important to me._

 _My eyes matched a pair of familiar ones and I officially felt my heart shatter. They got closer and his hand reached up to help me down. I took his hand and hopped down, letting him immediately pull me into his embrace._

 _"_ _You were beautiful up there, lass."_

 _"_ _He didn't get out?"_

 _"_ _Let's go for a ride, sweetheart. Our favorite place."_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _"_ _Ya really were beautiful though, lass."_

"She's on her way to St. Thomas."

I snapped up and looked at Gemma. She looked upset.

"He gonna be alright?"

"I don't know. I think so. They wouldn't have dropped him there if he wasn't going to make it."

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

"You alright sweetheart?"

I sighed.

"Yeah, Gem. I just remember what it was like looking in the crowd hoping to see someone that just would never be there."

"We all wanted to go to that talent show. Chibs thought it was best if he was there alone."

"It was the right call. He was always the one there for me when I needed saving."

"You got that right, babe."


	7. Faith In You

**I know this is kind of a filler chapter, but I promise things pick up!**

* * *

I hadn't heard from Opie so I decided to catch a ride home with Gemma. She dropped me off and I immediately fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was worried about Opie, but I figured he had just needed the night to be alone. I still wasn't used to sleeping next to anyone, so having my bed alone was nice.

I woke up to the sun shining on my face and the smell of bacon. I changed quickly into a baggy t-shirt and a pair of short and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. I could hear soft singing and immediately recognized the Gaelic folk song Chibs loved to sing.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Morning, Chibby."

"Hope yer hungry, lovie."

"You know me so well."

"Sure hope so."

I sat down at the table and he set a cup of coffee and a plate of food in front of me. He walked over and grabbed his own, sitting across from me.

"You could always cook breakfast at your own place you know. Don't need to cook for me."

"Knew you wouldn't cook for yourself. Never do when you're upset."

"And how do you know I'm upset?"

"Found out your da isn't getting out. Ya been glued to Opie and he didn't come back for ya last night. Plus, I know watching a kid look for their da isn't easy for ya."

"It broke my heart, Chibs. It really did."

"Figured it would, sweetheart. I wanted to get back but-"

"But you were too busy dropping Kyle off at the hospital."

"Ya know about that."

"Of course I do. I also know you would be the one to drop him off."

"You upset?"

"He should have been killed when he betrayed Ope."

He smiled at me and took a sip of coffee.

"You doing okay though?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. I mean I'm upset that he isn't getting out. I guess part of me always hoped that he would be around, ya know? A girl always wants her dad."

"Aye. She does."

"I guess I'm just lucky that I have all of this family for me. A family that still loves me even though I ran away."

"Always love you, sweetheart. Glad ya know that. Got anything planned for the day?"

"It's Saturday, so no clients. I was going to call Ope."

"He's got some club stuff going on for a while. Mind going for a ride with me? Got something for ya."

I smiled and took his empty plate to the sink.

"I'll be right back. Pretty sure you don't want your tough reputation ruined by a chick with a baggy t-shirt and gross looking shorts on the back of your bike."

"I'd fight anyone who said a damn thing, Fae."

* * *

I shot Opie a return good morning text before hopping on the bike with Chibs. He had a spare helmet for me, just like always. I couldn't help but smile as we cruised down the road together. Every time I had ever been upset, he had been there for me. We would always get on the bike and just cruise. We took a side road and pulled into a storage unit. He parked the bike and helped me off.

"What is this?"

"Have something ta show ya."

He walked over to a smaller unit and unlocked it. He slid the door up and I was shocked at what I saw.

"After ya dumped it, I fixed it up for ya."

I walked forward and saw a revamped bike. I could tell it was the one he had given me when I turned sixteen, but he had fixed up all the broken and scratched up pieces. There was now an Anarchy symbol pained on the gas tank that also had "Protected By" scribed above it in Chibs' handwriting.

"You said you wouldn't help me."

"I know what I said. It's the only thing that kept my sane when ya took off."

"It's beautiful, Chibs."

"Aye, just like its rider."

"You're too good for me."

"Got a soft spot for ya, kiddo."

He hugged me and I kissed his cheek.

"I never thought I would see this again."

"Could say the same thing about you. Let's ride."

"It's been years. I'm not even sure I know how to ride anymore."

"I believe in ya. I taught ya how to ride to begin with and I know I did it right."

Without a second glance, he climbed back on his bike and fired it up. I sat down on mine and softly gripped the handlebars. Chibs had built this bike from the pieces my father had left lying around. He showed me how to put everything together and even had me help him. It had been my greatest joy when he officially gave it to me. He had even waited to paint it until I learned how to ride it without dumping it.

I started it up and the rumble under my legs made me smile. I slipped my helmet on and pulled out behind Chibs. He didn't slow down as he pulled out onto the road and I followed him. We picked up pace quickly and the wind flowing around my body both scared me and excited me. I was surprised that even all these years later, I could feel the same rush I felt the first time.

We rode around the back roads, steering clear of traffic and stop signs. I told myself I had no idea where I was going, but my heart did. It was the same path we took every time we were going out to his favorite spot. We pulled up and slowed down in unison, cutting our engines.

It was beautiful there. Nothing was particularly extraordinary about the view. To anyone on the outside it looked like a normal bunch of trees with a normal field on the other side. The grass was just as decayed as the ground was dry for most of the season. Just another dead end road that meant a headache and frustration for lost travelers who took a wrong turn.

Lucky for me to have found beauty in an ordinary looking place. I didn't need to worry about random travelers taking up my area and making me think of other things. I didn't need to worry about choosing between sitting back and waiting or just heading home without finding my peace.

"Come sit with me, Fae."

I followed him over and plopped down next to him. Any other time, we would both light up a cigarette and find small talk. Not there though. That was the spot that we could sit in absolute silence until we had something legitimate that we needed to get off our chest. In fact, most of what we talked about there was never spoken about again. It was our vent area and neither of us ever broke it.

"I came here you know. Before I finally left, I drove the car down here and just sat here. I just stared out at the horizon and did everything I could to find peace in my decisions."

"I came here looking for ya."

"You must have seen the tire marks then."

"It's how I knew ya were gone. Was hopin for a note, but the tires were loud and clear."

"Part of me was hoping you would show up. Just one more time you would save me from making a mistake."

"Ya know I wouldn't have asked ya ta stay."

"No, but you would have made it harder."

"Perhaps. Don't really think that's what ya needed tho."

I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"I missed you, Chibs."

"And I missed ya, Fae."

"Why did you rebuild my bike after I left?"

"Kept me sane, love. Told ya that."

"Did you know I'd be back?"

"I hoped, aye."

"I still don't understand how you get me so well."

"I know ya, Fae. Known ye most of yer life. Love ya the same as I love my Kerrianne."

"When my dad went away, I was so lost. I don't think I would have made it without you."

"Sure ya would have. Yer a strong lass. Always have been. Stubborn as an ox, but smart as hell."

"Sounds more like you're describing yourself."

He laughed and tossed his arm across my shoulders.

"Guess ya picked up some stuff from me, aye?"

I smiled into his chest as I hugged him.

"Yeah, I guess I did. I love ya, Chibby."

"Love ya too, sweetheart. No matter how stupid ye are sometimes. I've always had faith in ye. I always knew you'd come home."

* * *

We pulled into the clubhouse and I parked my bike on the opposite side. I knew that it would piss Clay off if I parked mine at the end of the guys. I got off and walked across the parking lot towards Gemma. She smiled at me, until a truck pulled in with Juice driving. We both saw a girl get out and Clay looked furious. I stopped dead in my tracks realizing what was happening as Clay was ripping Juice a new ass.

"This isn't gonna be good."

I jumped, not realizing Opie was standing next to me.

"Who is she?"

"Prospect was flirting with her at the patch over party. Clay wanted to make a point after he made a comment about Gemma being hot. Took her in the back to piss the kid off."

"Why the hell is she here then? If she was at a club she should know about the club rules."

"I don't know. I think Gemma figured it out though."

I looked over to see Gemma fuming. My heart broke for her. As much as we loved the men in the club, we all knew about their stupid rule. We all knew that there would be other women and circumstances that would break our hearts if we let them.

 _We were curled up in bed when Ope's phone kept ringing. He ignored it, letting his hands roam all over my body. It was almost impossible for us to be this close and not be intimate. Our love was intense just as much as it was calming. I groaned and leaned over him, grabbing his phone and flipping it open._

 _"_ _Ope, who the hell is this?"_

 _There was a picture of a half-naked blonde in the message. He looked at it and immediately pulled the phone from me._

 _"_ _It's no one."_

 _"_ _Doesn't look like no one. Who the hell is she?"_

 _"_ _Just some whore from Nevada."_

 _"_ _Why the hell does she have your number?"_

 _"_ _Must have put it in my phone."_

 _"_ _That doesn't make sense. How would she have your number then?"_

 _He sighed and shook his head._

 _"_ _It was just a whore, Fae."_

 _"_ _Yeah, a whore that now has your number and is sending you fucking pictures while you're in bed with me."_

 _"_ _You know the rules of the road."_

 _"_ _Yeah, and road pussy isn't supposed to follow you home."_

 _I got up and grabbed my clothes, turning my back on him._

 _"_ _Let me guess, gonna run to fucking Ima right?"_

 _"_ _At least I know where I stand with her."_

I frowned and saw Ope watching me from the corner of my eye.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That's what I should have said that night. Instead of brushing it off, I should have said sorry."

I looked up at him and nodded. I wasn't sure how to feel about all of it. It was a long time ago but the wounds just seemed to be opening over and over again in Charming.

"Come inside with me. Gemma is gonna start killing people. I don't really want to be in the aftermath of that."

* * *

We walked inside, trying to ignore the heat radiating between Gemma and Clay. I stayed quiet as the guys talked about anything but the issue going on outside. You could feel the tension throughout the air and it was very uncomfortable.

"COPS!"

I didn't have time to react before I was being pushed to the ground. I was the closest one to the door, so they got to me first. I could hear Chibs screaming at the officer for putting his hands on me. I looked up at him and nodded, letting him know I was okay. Where as most of the guys got tossed to the ground, he gently helped me down so I didn't hit very hard.

I peered up for a moment when I recognized the voice of the woman who was in charge. June Stahl. I buried my face back down, hoping that she wouldn't recognize me with my hair covering my face. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as she walked around talking shit to the guys. They took Clay away but I couldn't focus enough to really listen to what she was saying.

"You alright, Angel?"

Opie helped me to my feet and looked me over, brushing my hair out of my face. I could feel that my cheeks were red.

"Yeah. Why the hell is June Stahl in town?"

"You know her?"

"Yeah. She used to be in New York. I met her while I was out there."

"You two were a thing?"

I grumbled.

"Kind of. We went to dinner a few times but I just wasn't interested. She successfully made it miserable for me out there after that. She is one of those people that if she can't have someone no one can."

"Guess this is going to be interesting then."

"Why can't anything ever be easy in this town."

* * *

With my connection to Stahl, I was on strict orders to stay away from the club. They didn't want her having yet another reason to sniff around. They put me up in an apartment that had no ones names on it that could connect me with the reaper. I spent two weeks ignoring text messages from a desperate Ima and praying for ones from a busy Opie.

The problem with me needing to stay away from the club, was Opie needing to stay away from me as well. We went from being inseparable to needing to pretend the other doesn't exist. It made for lonely nights and frustrating days. I buried myself in my work but I often saw the guys drive past me. I considered getting a message to Chibs to meet me at our spot, but I knew deep down it was a bad idea. Chibs had a hard time finding reason when it was people he cared about.

I was almost asleep when my phone went off.

 _Hello?_

 ** _Fae, it's Gemma. We have a problem and we can't find Tara or Jax. We need you at the clubhouse. Opie is on his way without his kutte on. I need you to not ask questions and just hop on._**

 _Jesus. Alright I'll be right there._

 ** _Cover up your hair and all your tattoos. Ope is doing the same._**

The phone clicked off and I immediately ran to the front door, pulling my hair into a tight bun and slipping a beanie that Opie had left with me on. I slipped on an all black hoodie and ran out the door just as he pulled up. I hopped on the back and we took off without a word.

He felt stiff, but I felt him relax himself into me for a moment as if to let me know that he was glad to see me. I buried my face into his back, missing him more than anything. The ride was quick as he sped down the road and flew into the parking lot as someone closed the gate behind us. I hopped of his bike and ran inside to screaming.

"What the hell?"

"Chibs needs your help. Tara is MIA and so is Jax."

"Are they in danger?"

Gemma scowled.

"I don't know. Right now we need to stop the bleeding Irishman from dying on the table."

I ripped the hat and hoodie off as I ran into chapel. Chibs was covered in blood and the man was on his stomach.

"Fae. Thank Christ. Put some gloves on and come stand next to me."

I was already half way done with putting my gloves on. That wasn't the first time that we had stopped someone from bleeding out together. He was incredibly good at keeping them alive and I was incredibly good at paying attention to the small details. We worked quickly as we pulled the bullets out of him and stitched him up. It was like we had always been working together without years of distance.

"He said your name is Fae?"

I glanced down at the man on the table. He was pale and looked weak.

"Yes."

"I knew a woman named Fae once. Beautiful woman. Gorgeous red hair and the most beautiful blue eyes."

"Sounds like it might be the alcohol they're pumping into you talking, sweetheart."

Chibs cleared his throat and pointed across the table at the alcohol. I picked it up and poured it on the wounds. The man hissed and put his face back into the table. Chibs pat me on the shoulder and kissed my cheek before he walked out to talk to Clay. I started cleaning everything up quietly, hoping the man was sleeping away some of his pain.

"Ya look like her." He whispered.

"Like who?"

"Like Fae."

"I am Fae."

"Na, ya look like the Fae I knew. I thought ya were her when ya walked in. Like an angel coming to save me."

"Well I did save you. Get some sleep. You need the rest."

I pat him on the shoulder before walking out of the room. Opie nodded at me before he motioned for me to come over. I walked over to him and plopped on the couch.

"You good, babe?"

"Yeah. Guy is seriously drunk. Thought I was some woman he knew named Fae."

"That's weird."

"Very. Whatever though. I just really would like to go to sleep."

"I'll take you home."

"I don't want to be alone."

"And she shouldn't be." Clay added.

I looked at him and felt uneasy. There was something different about him. He seemed to watch me just a little longer than normal like he was waiting for me to see something. I looked back down, knowing that once he made his ruling that was it.

"She stays here tonight. It's not safe for her to be alone. Stahl doesn't know about her but the Mayans do."

Opie nodded and put his arms around my shoulders.

"I can either get you a room for yourself or you can stay with me."

"Yes, because I want to be away from you. The past few weeks have been absolute bliss being alone."

I smirked as he looked down at me with his grin. He pulled me up with him and led me towards the dorm rooms.

"I missed you, Angel."

"I missed you too, Ope."


	8. Twenty Questions

I ran into the studio, just as I watched Stahl cuff my mother. I paused, knowing that the club wanted me away from this drama, but it was my mother. She had called me hysterically as soon as the cops showed up. Just as I considered turning around to leave, Stahl turned around.

"Well holy shit. Figures that I would find you in a run down dump like this."

"June."

"Fae. You leave New York to start working here?"

"No. I left New York to spend time with my mother."

"Your mother works here?"

"You just slapped your cuffs on her."

She looked backwards at Luann and whipped back around to look at me.

"I didn't even think about that. Your last name is Delaney. Would have never made the connection."

She walked forward and straightened out my jacket. It made me uneasy to have her that close to me so I took an involuntary step back.

"I'm gonna have to ask you to come down to the station with me."

"Why?"

"We found drugs in your mothers office."

"I don't work here."

"Listen." She stepped closer. "Either come down to the station or meet me for dinner tonight. Your choice."

I turned my head when I heard someone clear their throat next to me. Ima was standing with her hands on her hips and glaring at June.

"Yes, sweetheart?" June spit.

"I don't think my girl Fae is gonna want anything to do with dinner and you."

"Your girl?"

"That's right."

June gave her a fake smile and looked back at me.

"I had no idea you kept such interesting company."

I glanced back at Ima, but turned my attention back to Stahl. She now knew that she had my mother in custody and I was sure that she had a big move. She was calculating her options and being able to drag me down too was just too hard to pass up.

"I can meet you for dinner."

I heard Ima hiss out.

"After I bail my mother out." I added.

"She will be fine. Just spending some time in lock up then she will be going to see her husband. Your father, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, maybe I can arrange some time with him as well for you. We can discuss it over dinner."

She handed me her card as the cops walked my mother out. She looked devastated. I worked hard to keep my face neutral but I wanted to chase after my mom. I stayed still as Stahl stared at me.

"Shoot me a text, beautiful. We can figure out where to meet."

I nodded as she walked out the door. My skin was crawling. I had a bad feeling about her when we first met, and noting changed. I heard Ima in her tall heel walking up to me.

"So she can get a dinner and I can't even get a text back?"

"Ima, this is seriously not a good time."

"So when the hell is a good time!"

I turned on her and finally felt myself snap.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Ima! My mother was just fucking arrested, doesn't that mean anything to you!?"

I turned on my heel and stomped out the door. I knew I should be helping clean up the place and getting the girls calmed down. I knew I should be calling the guys to get them to come up here but I needed out of this suffocating place. All I could think about was the shit storm that was bound to happen with Stahl knowing about me. I was even more ammunition that could be used against the club and my father. I was just getting in the way.

* * *

I pulled into the driveway and saw that everyone was there. I walked in quickly hoping I could catch them all before they ran out the door. I saw that the chapel doors were shut and cursed under my breath.

"They just went in."

I looked over to see the prospect cleaning the bar.

"Hey, sweetheart. I need you to go in and tell them I am here and that Stahl knows about me."

"I.. uh.."

"It's important."

He nodded and scrambled towards the door. I heard Clay boom out at him, but then went quiet quickly as the prospect spit out my message to him.

"Fae!"

I rushed towards the door and poked my head in. Jax motioned for me to come in, telling the prospect to shut the door behind him.

"How did she find out?" Jax asked.

"Mom called when the cops burst in. I know I shouldn't have gone, but it's my mom."

Clay ran his hand over his face.

"I think- I think I have a way in though. Stahl wants me to meet her for dinner. Ima acted like a total psycho so now Stahl is super intrigued. Said we can discuss me getting in to talk to dad. I haven't text her yet. Wanted to touch base with you guys first."

I glanced over at Opie and he was looking at me with soft eyes. I had missed him and hated that my first message to him was that I was given the opportunity to go on a date with the enemy.

"This could be good." Jax said to Clay.

"Or it could bury us."

"I won't do anything you don't want me to. Getting in to see dad might be a good thing though. I know Stahl, and if she is making a move, its gonna be a big one."

Jax nodded.

"Thank you, darlin'. Can you wait outside for us?"

"Yeah of course."

I glanced over at Opie, who smiled openly at me. I couldn't help but smile back as I slipped out of the door. I walked over the bar, smiling at the prospect.

"Thank you for that, sweetheart."

"Oh. No problem. Sorry I didn't really listen at first."

"You're alright. I know you're just trying to get in their good graces."

"Yeah. I don't seem to be doing a very good job at that."

He looked down at the glass he was mindlessly cleaning.

"Hey, Chibs brought you in right?"

"Yeah."

"You must be pretty awesome then. He is a pretty good judge of character."

The kid lit up and finally looked at me.

"You think so?"

"I've known Chibs most of my life. He's never led me wrong."

He grinned at me and nodded as the guys came out of the chapel. I turned on the bar stool and saw Jax and Opie walking to me.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you two."

They both smiled, but Opie walked directly to me. He kissed me on the top of the head and put his arm around my shoulders as he leaned against the bar.

"We need you to go on that date with Stahl. I know you hate getting into the club shit, but she's trying to pull RICO on us."

"Jesus Christ, Jax."

"I know. Listen, I do know. We think she's going to use your mom to get your dad talking."

"He would never-"

"Not in that way. Even little stupid shit could add up with RICO. She just needs to be able to pin one person in the past and then smash us on today."

"So you need me to get close enough so I can get to dad?"

"Yeah."

"She did say that she was going to send mom to see dad."

"Good. Get in there first. You and Otto have a better relationship. You'll be able to tell him what's going on without outright saying it."

"Okay. I'll shoot her a text soon."

"Good. I gotta get home to Tara."

"How is she?"

"She's.. alright."

I squint my eyes at Jax's hesitation, but my attention was pulled towards Opie. He was pulling me onto my feet and guiding me down the hallway. As soon as we got into his room, he shut the door and pushed me against it.

"I missed you, Fae."

Before I could respond, his lips were up against mine. I had been dreaming of this kind of response the night before, but I had been so tired after the impromptu surgery, I had fallen right asleep. His hands roamed across my body as his lips worked with mine. I sighed as his lips roamed down my neck.

"I missed you too, Ope."

He hummed against my neck as he lift me so I could wrap my legs around his waist. Opie loved lifting me up so I was closer to him. I wasn't sure that he really wanted me closer or if it was more than he wanted me up off the ground so he could stand up. It always made me smile though.

"I need to message Stahl before she passes up the deal."

He pulled his face away from my neck and kissed my lips sweetly.

"You're right."

He carried me over to the bed, still keeping my legs wrapped around him. When he sat down, I continued to straddle him as I pulled my phone out of my back pocket with the card. I quickly typed out a message as Opie massaged my hips.

"Ya know what?"

He hummed back, watching me.

"Stahl would be seething right now."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm wrapped around a son, texting her for dinner plans so I can get a secret message to my father who she is trying to use to take the sons down."

"Quite the scandal."

I laughed.

"I guess so."

"You know what would make her even more pissed?"

"Hmm?"

He spun us around so he was on top of me. I let out a shriek of laughter at the quick movement and sudden position I was in. He was still between my legs, but his sheer height had them pushed up higher as they moved with his hips. He was holding himself up and looking down at me.

"I forgot how much I loved your surprised giggles."

I felt my face flush as he stared at me. Normally, Opie made me calm. However, there were sometimes that he just set my entire being on fire. Seeing him looking down at me and telling me how he felt drove me insane.

"You're blushing, Angel."

I looked over and opened my phone. There was a text back from Stahl telling me where to meet her later. It quickly brought me back to reality. It didn't matter about what Opie was saying and how much I wanted to stay with him. If I wanted the club and my father to be safe, I had to stop what was happening. Opie sighed and moved next to me.

"You have to go."

I nodded back, hating the look on his face.

"I get it. Even though I'd love to be peeling your clothes off you."

I propped myself up on my elbow, facing him.

"About that."

"Yes?"

"I still.. want to wait. I just.. I don't think us rushing into that kind of stuff is a great idea."

"Okay."

"If you.. still need that kind of.. comfort.. I won't be upset. I just don't want to see it."

"Fae, you're really bad at talking about feelings."

"I always have been."

"I said it's okay. If you're not ready then you're not ready. I want you to be comfortable."

I nodded, but still felt uneasy. I knew the way the guys indulged in some of the finer comforts of life. Not that you could really call most of the hang arounds part of the beautiful things in the world. However, they gave that release that everyone was always chasing. They were a way for the guys to escape the troubles and murder their lives always thrusted themselves in.

"Life isn't about that anymore, Fae."

"Life is always about that."

"Not for me."

Not wanting to get into a fight, I rolled over so I was sitting up.

"You guys be safe, okay?"

"You too. Don't go falling for Stahl's shit."

"I didn't years ago."

"Keep it that way."

I looked back at him and smirked.

"Yes, sir."

"Damn right."

He pulled me into a kiss which was cut short by pounding on the door. I didn't want to know what the guys were doing. I could ask right now and Opie would tell me everything. I didn't need that on my mind though. I had to make Stahl believe that the club meant nothing to me more than just my father being in it.

"Call me when you get home, babe."

"I will, sweetheart."

* * *

I pulled up to the restaurant and saw that Stahl was waiting at the door with me. She was still wearing the same business clothes that she was wearing earlier that day. She made my skin crawl. I forced a smile on my face and walked towards her.

"You're here!"

"Am I late?"

"No. I just wanted to see your beautiful face as you walked up to me."

I forced a laugh out and let my hair fall in my face as if I were bashful about the flirting. The smell of the food was making my stomach turn and I knew it was because she grossed me out.

"I reserved a seat for us. I called and asked if they had a nice quiet corner for us to catch up in."

"Sounds great."

As soon as she turned my face fell. I was only agreeing to dinner without protest because I thought we wouldn't really be alone. I didn't trust her or anything she wanted to do. The waitress took us to our seat and set a nice bottle of wine down on the table. I thanked her and she smiled sweetly. She was a pretty girl and I felt like I knew her. I let my eyes linger on her for a moment while I tried to figure out who she was until Stahl cleared her throat.

"I mean I know she's younger than me, but I would hope I am at least a little more interesting than the local girl."

"Oh, no I just think I know her. It's been a while since I've lived here. I recognize a lot of faces but can't ever pin point who they are. It's like I have amnesia."

"She is a pretty little thing though. I'm sure she already has slept her way through town."

I considered arguing with her, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't here to argue with her, I was here to let her talk to my father. I knew my mom will get a chance to talk to him, but she was so bad at keeping secrets.

"Have you been here before?" I said sweetly.

She smiled at me with her sick face and shook her head.

"No. I was hoping it was okay. I can't really leave the area so there weren't much choices."

"How did you end up here instead of New York?"

"Working for ATF brings me everywhere. I've been assigned to the Sons of Anarchy. Figured since the mother charter was here this was a great place to go."

I forced a sigh.

"They always seem to be getting in trouble. My dad has been in jail for almost as long as I can remember."

"Do you get to see him?"

I looked up at her and knew she was testing me. Her being in charge made her know that no one could see him anymore.

"No. I'm not sure what he did but he isn't allowed visitors anymore. Something about a life sentence. I went to see him before they locked him down but I didn't ask what he did."

"Would he have told you?"

"Probably. I just don't want to be wrapped up in their shit, ya know? I don't live that kind of life anymore." I lied.

She reached across the table and took my hand. As I struggled to keep in in place I forced a smile.

"Why didn't we work?"

"I just.. The last time I really dated I ended up caught between two people. I hurt them both and myself in the process. I just.. don't want to do that to anyone again."

"I can appreciate that and your honesty. Why did you come back here if not for love?"

"Tara."

"Doctor Knowles?"

"Yeah. She was my best friend in high school. We were inseparable. When she called me that she was coming back after her parents died, I knew I needed to also. It just felt right."

"You see your mother often?"

"Not as much as I should. She wasn't ever really around when I was growing up. Gemma raised me. I just never felt that connection with mom."

"Didn't want to follow her footsteps?"

"I uh.. I did for a while. Had a screen name and everything. Got out of there though. I didn't want to ruin my future. Kind of resented her for being okay with her daughter being in front of the screen, but it's all she really knew I guess."

"Wow. I'll have to keep an eye out for those movies."

I felt my face flush as I laughed.

"They're all gone. Was before internet was huge and I begged her to destroy them."

She laughed as the waitress dropped our food off. I made a point not to look at the waitress again and kept focused on the food and Stahl. I could almost see her wall coming down as I talked about myself.

"So, if Gemma raised you does that make Jax like a brother?"

"Uh. No."

"I'm honestly a little surprised that you didn't pine after him. He seems to be the center of all the attention."

"Honestly, I kind of did. Whenever him and Tara would break up we would mess around. I'm sure it pissed Tara off, but she figured that it was better than him falling for someone she wasn't close to."

"Wasn't it hard for her to see you two together?"

"It wasn't like that. We would meet up, do what we wanted to then go our separate ways."

"Oh. Not a relationship then."

"I'm not a relationship kind of person." I laughed.

She paused for a moment like she was thinking.

"I want to help you."

"What? Why?"

"You aren't part of their world anymore. You didn't ask for this. The club took away your father and forced your mother into glorified prostitution. They have damaged you. I want to bring you some sort of peace in all of this shit."

"I'm not sure that's really possible."

I realized as I said it, it wasn't a lie.

"I want to let you see your father. I can call the state and get you in and our before your mother gets there."

"Really? You would do that for me?"

"Of course. I love that pretty smile of yours."

I smiled and ducked my face behind me hair. I was playing her like a fiddle.

"I appreciate it. I mean if you can't get it-"

"Nonsense. I'll call them as soon as we leave here."

"Thank you."

"You're more than welcome, sweetheart."

We finished up dinner and head towards the door. She walked me to my car, which was incredibly awkward.

"I had a great time with you tonight, but I feel like you really aren't ready for more than just dinner with me."

I sighed.

"I'm not. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm just glad for the honesty."

She moved forward and cupped my face as she pressed her lips to mine. I felt my stomach lurch and fought the urge to recoil away from her. She pulled away and ran her thumb across my face before dropping her hand.

"I'll text you with the information for tomorrow."

She turned and head towards her car as I continued to fight the urge to vomit on the pavement in front of me. I got in the car and sent a quick text to Opie, who had message me he was home safe earlier.

 ** _Meet me at my apartment. Be discreet._**

* * *

I walked into my apartment, maneuvering around everything in the dark. I had a bad habit of leaving things all over when I was in a hurry, making walking around when I got home difficult. I pushed my right foot forward and realized that the shirt I knew I left was gone. I froze, suddenly aware that someone had been there. I slipped my hand carefully into my bag, cursing in my head that the gun I usually carried was missing. I had left it at the clubhouse knowing I was heading to see Stahl. I contemplated darting back to the front door, but I had locked it. If someone was in the room they would be able to see me run since their eyes were adjusted to the dark.

I took a shaky quiet breath and head towards the kitchen. I would be cornered in there, but I would at least have access to a knife. I moved steadily in and reached for the light switch. I felt a hand clamp around my wrist and stifled a scream. It came out more as a squeak as I was pushed backwards into the fridge. The persons other hand pressed against my chest, holding me in place, as my hand was pinned above me. I frantically tried to see who my attacker was until a familiar scent washed over me.

"Opie are you fucking kidding me?"

I heard him laugh as I was let go and the light turned on.

"I was going to stab you!"

"You weren't going to do shit. You were so fucking loud coming in and I caught up with you quickly. Where is your gun?"

"I left it in your dorm room since I was going with Stahl."

"You're lucky it was me in here."

He walked forward and pulled me up into his arms, letting me wrap my legs around his waist.

"I missed you."

"Missed you too, Ope."

"Tell me how it went."

He carried me over towards the living room and sat with me still wrapped around him.

"She's getting me in to see dad."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"I'd offer you a ride up there but that's probably a bad idea."

"A very bad one."

He smiled at me and brushed the hair out of my face.

"You look great by the way."

"Thanks."

"Find out anything?"

"Just that she has a major hard on or you guys. I told her a few useless details about myself to get her trust. She said she wants to help me get peace from all the shit the club has put me through."

"You're stronger than she could ever guess."

"I don't always feel that way."

"I know, babe. You are though."

He kissed me sweetly, causing me to smile.

"Why are you smiling, Angel?"

"If anyone knew how sweet you are with me, you'd never live it down."

"I don't care. You need to get some sleep though. Tomorrow is gonna be rough for you."

"You gonna be here when I get back?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	9. Caught Between My Pride And My Promise

**Okay here is take 2 on this chapter. It's been a while since I uploaded on here and I messed it up somehow. Sorry about that and thank you to everyone who let me know!**

 **I am officially back! It took me a while to get my head on straight, but here I am and ready to finish up this story! Not that I actually have any idea on what is going to happen or how it's going to end yet.. but at least it's moving forward! This chapter is pretty long to make sure that i try to make up for being absent for so long.**

 **Feel free to message me or leave reviews. I have missed all of you! Much love!**

* * *

After waking up to a note from Opie, I got ready to head to the prison. Stahl had text me the details late, but I had been ready to need to jump as soon as she wanted me to. Power trips were her thing, that was for sure.

I pulled into the driveway and parked where I always did. Part of me felt like I had just been there seeing him and the other part felt like it had been an eternity. I emptied my pockets and sent a text out that I was heading in. I knew I didn't need to check in with Ope the way I did, but I didn't trust Stahl. If he didn't hear from me within the hour he would know to send a lawyer.

I walked up to the door to see a woman in a suit looking at me. She had longer blonde hair and a slender face. She dressed fairly similarly to Stahl, but lacked the self confidence. She seemed unsure of her every move as she forced a smile.

"Good morning, you must be Faelynn."

"Good morning, ma'am."

"I work with Agent Stahl. She is upstairs waiting on you."

The woman had a fairly heavy accent and a beautiful face. I followed her in silence but I studied her. She reminded me a bit of myself. I could see she knew what she was doing as an Agent, but everything else seemed so unstable. We walked up to a room and she motioned for me to go in.

"Your dad will be with you shortly, Miss Delaney."

"Thank you."

I went in and sat down, being far too familiar with prison visits. I noticed that there was a window though, meaning Stahl was watching. She was acting like I was being given a private meeting with my father, but I knew she was just using me in the long run. I looked over and smiled as they led my father in.

"Hey baby girl."

"Hi, daddy."

I sat up and felt like a little girl again. I always got the same smile on my face when I saw him. It was like the first time I visited him in the prison. Mom had dressed me up in a frilly pink dress, that I of course hated, and made sure my hair was perfect. She had basically dragged me away from the clubhouse kicking and screaming, much to the amusement of Opie and Jax.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

"No. Mom got arrested. Again."

He sighed and rubbed his face.

"What happened?"

"Drugs I guess. I mean, I doubt they were hers. We both know some of those girls are no good."

"Yeah. Most girls in porn aren't."

I let out a soft laugh, knowing that the one he was talking about Ima.

"How is everything with you?"

"Ricky has been bugging me again."

He looked at me, unsure if he should know what I'm talking about.

"Remember I told you about Ricky? Always trying to get up my past shit with the club to get me in trouble. It's like I couldn't even tell him one tiny little thing about my past without him using it against me."

"Ah, Ricky. Is he the one you used to call Ricky Ricko?"

"Yeah, that's him."

He gave me a knowing nod. We always were able to communicate so that we understood each other. Even when I was little, I knew more about the club than I ever wanted to. It just meant that I could always communicate things to him to keep him safe.

"I know there isn't much I can do here, but I'll talk to Clay. See what I can do."

"Oh, you don't need to do that. The club always has more than enough going on with the future. I don't need Ricky drudging up my past and messing with that."

He nodded again and took my hands.

"Did you look at that notebook yet?"

"No. It's been so hectic I haven't had a chance."

He nodded and kept running his thumbs across the tops of my hands.

"I love you, Faelynn."

"I love you too, daddy."

There was a knock on the window, signifying it was time to leave. I stood up and he pulled me into a hug, whispering into my ear.

"I need you to read that notebook, baby."

"Why is it so important. You're still here."

"No. No, Faelynn I need you to read it. It's so important."

"Daddy I-"

"Fae, I don't know how this is gonna turn out. You need to read it."

I nodded as I pulled away from him. I watched the officer come in and put him back in cuffs. It never got easier seeing him walk away from me.

* * *

I pulled into the driveway at the clubhouse the next day and noticed everyone was inside. I walked in to see the prospect picking up chairs and cleaning up.

"What happened?"

"Stahl again. Arrested Bobby."

"Bobby? Jesus."

"Yeah. Guys are all in there discussing it right now."

"Let me help you clean up."

We picked everything up quickly. My mind was stuck on Opie, so I didn't say much. I turned to see Jax walk out, pissed off.

"Fae, have you seen Ope?"

"He isn't in there?"

"No."

"I tried calling him a few times last night. Figured he was busy with club stuff."

"Come with me."

I glanced back at Clay and Tig. They were watching us with intense eyes. I scurried after Jax and climbed on the back of his bike. We flew down the road quickly, ignoring most of the traffic laws. My heart stopped when we pulled into Opie's driveway.

"Jax what is going on?"

"Bobby got arrested for murder."

"What does that have to do with Ope?"

"Ope was there with him."

"Shit."

I followed him up to the door as he pounded on it. I reached under the mat and pulled out the spare key and handed it to him. He opened the door quickly and we rushed in.

"Ope!"

Jax walked quickly into the back and I walked to the kitchen table. I picked up a card that was the only thing left on the table.

"Jax."

"What?"

I held it up so he could see it.

"Stahl's card."

"Shit."

"The club thinks he went rat."

"Yeah."

"He wouldn't."

Jax walked past me and outside. He walked across the yard to a neighbor doing lawn maintenance.

"Hey, you seen Opie lately?"

"Some black SUV's showed up last night and took him."

"Was he wearing cuffs?"

"Nope. He went right with them."

Jax thanked the man and walked over to me.

"He wouldn't betray the club, Jax."

He sighed and put his arm around my shoulder as he led me to the bike.

"We will figure this out, Fae."

* * *

After making a quick stop at the police station, we made it back to the clubhouse. I walked inside with Jax and saw that Clay, Tig and Juice were waiting on him.

"He isn't home."

"No sign of him at all?"

"No. I talked to the neighbor. He said that he left in a black SUV during the night."

"He's a fucking rat." Tig spit out.

"Shut your mouth, Tig." I snapped.

Clay whipped around and glared at me.

"Don't start, girl."

"Clay, you have to know Opie would never do this. Why would he? What possible fucking reason would he have to betray the club? He already lost everything for it."

"Probably money." Tig snorted.

"Money? Do you think he has EVER been interested in money over you guys?"

"Listen, sweetheart, just because he's dicking you down doesn't mean you have to defend him. I'm sure you can find another son to spread your legs for."

"How fucking dare you, Alexander."

Tig got up quickly, knocking his chair over. Juice got up, grabbing his arm as Jax got in-between us.

"You little fucking slut."

"You didn't seem to mind when I was holding you as you cried after we had sex, you pussy ass bitch."

"Get her the hell out of here!" Clay boomed.

Jax led me out the door as Tig continued to yell at me. Jax was holding back laughter as we got outside.

"Fae, you can't- did he really cry?"

"Almost every time."

Jax wiped his hand over his face, trying not to laugh.

"Just cool down out here."

He handed me his pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

"Smoke a few of those and breathe. Chibs is in the garage if you need him."

He walked back inside and I huffed before sitting down. In all reality, I hated outing Tig like that. I had always adored him, even if he was a little weird when it came to sex. That man had taught me things that were straight out of some peoples nightmares. I trusted him though, so it never bothered me too much.

"Oi, you alright lass?"

"Yeah. I'm good, Chibs. Just got into it with Tig. They think Opie is a rat."

"What do you think?"

"He would never do that, Chibs."

Before we could continue the conversation, a car pulled into the lot. I watched the door open and my chest tightened as I saw Donna get out. She stomped her way over to me and crossed her arms.

"Where is Opie."

"I don't know."

She scoffed.

"Yeah right. If you're back in town then he has a new fuck toy."

"Donna, I'm not in the mood to start a fight with you."

"Where is Opie. I won't ask again."

"Donna, I don't know where he is."

She looked me up and down before tossing a packing of paperwork at me. I caught it clumsily and looked back at her.

"What the hell is this?"

"Paperwork he needs to sign."

I looked at it and glared back at her.

"Termination of parental rights? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. I keep a tabs on this shithole of a town. I heard you were back, and I've seen all the bullshit that's happened."

"So, because I'm in town you won't ever let him see his kids!? Donna listen to yourself!"

"I think you need to take a good hard look at yourself. If you're in town, no good can come from it. I picked up the pieces when you took off on Opie. He was a broken man trying to figure out if you were dead or alive. You should really be thanking me for that."

"Thanking you? I came back from getting my shit together and I find out you took off the MOMENT he got locked up."

"What was I supposed to do!?"

"You were supposed to love him! You were supposed to be there for him and keep him sane! How could you rip away the family he had when it wasn't even his fault he got locked up!?"

"Of course, it was his fault! He was there. Are you that brainwashed that you think when they pull the trigger it isn't their fault? That it is some deluded way of saving the world? They're criminals, Fae. They kill people and sell guns. They aren't heroes. They're trash."

I took a step forward, getting in her face.

"Call my family trash one more time, Donna."

"You're right. Your family isn't trash. You are. You've slept your way through this clubhouse and the rest of the town. Then when shit got too hard, you took off and broke everyone's heart. At least I let him know I was leaving."

"I think it's time ya leave, Donna. We will make sure he gets ya paperwork."

Donna looked past me at Chibs. She looked back at me and smirked.

"I hope he's happy with you, Fae. At least we know you won't be bringing more kids into this shit lifestyle. It's the one good thing you can do; not reproduce."

I started seeing red as she turned and walked away. Chibs came up and wrapped his arms around me, probably more so to keep me in place. She got in her car and sped away.

"Lass-"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Faelynn we need to talk about this."

"No. We don't. Please let me go."

He unwrapped his arms and I walked into the clubhouse. I slapped the paperwork in front of Clay.

"What the hell is this?"

"Still think he's a rat? Why would Donna be asking for him to terminate his rights if she had found a way to get him the fuck out of here."

"Donna?"

"She just showed up demanding she see Ope. If there was one thing that could possibly make him turn it would be his kids. Now he officially has nothing outside of these walls."

* * *

I had been sitting up on the roof for at least an hour before Chibs poked his head through the doorway.

"Ya up for some company?"

"As long as it's just you, yeah."

He climbed the rest of the way up and plopped down next to me. He groaned when he did so, grabbing his knee.

"You're getting old, Chibby."

"Ya damn right, girly."

I laughed, finally letting my face do anything but scowl.

"Wasn't right ya know. What she said."

"She isn't wrong."

"What tha hell does that mean?"

"It means she isn't wrong. I can't have kids and it was my own damn fault."

"I thought ya were a head doc."

"I am."

"Then how can ya think that shite? You would be a great ma."

I sighed and shook my head.

"No. It's how I pay for my past sins. I fucked up and now that's it."

"Christ. Have ya ever been back to a doc about it?"

"Regular check ups, yeah. Never seen a fertility doctor though. Never had a reason to."

He nodded and put his arm around my shoulders.

"What he did was wrong, Fae. Maybe ya oughta talk to him."

I scoffed dramatically.

"Yeah, okay. Because every time we've breathed near each other since I came back has gone so well."

"What would ya tell ya client in the same spot?"

"To talk to the person who hurt them."

"Then am I right?"

I playfully elbowed his side and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I'll think about it."

"Well, the shop is closin' for the night. He's the only one in there. Never know when you can get a chance again."

I sighed, knowing he was right. As much as I didn't want to open that door again, Donna ripped it off the hinges. I was worried about Opie, but deep down I knew that he was okay. I knew he wasn't a rat and I had to make sure I took care of myself even if he wasn't around.

* * *

I walked into the garage and heard a wrench being turned. I walked over to a car that was on the lift and checked it out. I had seen it come in a few days prior with a ton of damage. It looked brand new, other than needing a new paint job.

"What do you want."

While I had been checking out the car, Happy had stopped working and stood up to look at me. I looked over at him and sighed.

"I need to talk to you."

"Here to hurl more insults?"

"No."

"Then spit it out."

I shut my eyes for a moment as I let out a sigh. Talking to him wasn't something I particularly wanted to do.

"I hated you for a really long time, Hap."

"Guess I should have been losing sleep or something?"

"No. But you need to hear this. Even if you just call me a slut and tell me to fuck off, I need you to at least listen for a little while."

He crossed his arms and leaned against the beam next to him.

"I hated you for not being more careful. I had no idea, or maybe I just didn't want to think about it.. You should have.."

I sighed and bowed my head.

"it was my own fault for not going and getting checked more often. I should have known that I needed to do that with how much I slept around. Instead of accepting that, I put the blame on you. I can have my opinion about you but putting my shit on you isn't fair."

"You sound like a shrink."

I laughed softly.

"Yeah, well a lot of my schooling was getting over my own shit too."

He nodded and kept looking at me.

"I heard what Donna said. You really can't have kids?"

"No. When I caught that shit from you and didn't go get checked, it fucked everything up in there."

"That why you took off?"

"No. That was all me running away from myself. Did you think it was because of you?"

He shrugged.

"No one was really sure why. Everyone kind of blamed everyone else. Except Chibs. He blamed himself."

I sighed and felt defeated. I didn't want to hear what he had to say, but Happy was never one to sugar coat things.

"Well, I am sorry for what I did. I had to do it, but there were better ways I could have handled it."

"You're right on that one. You do know I would have told you if I knew, right?"

"Yeah. I know. You're a dick but you wouldn't want me seriously hurt."

"Alright. Enough of this soft shit. Can we go back to hating each other now?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"No. I don't hate you. I don't expect you to be kind to me either though. Gotta keep up that persona."

"Damn right."

I turned to walk away but he called out my name.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck that bitch. You're ten times the woman and old lady she ever was."

I smiled at him and head back to the clubhouse. I needed to help figure out where Opie was. Just as I was about to sit down at the table, my phone rang.

 **Hello?**

 _Savannah._

 **June?**

 _I need you to come up to the federal protection building._

 **What? Why?**

 _We need to talk._

* * *

I had hopped on my bike without telling a soul. I know Happy saw me take off, but he didn't try to stop me. I sped down the road and towards Stockton. I had no idea what she was talking about with the building, but she had given me the address quickly. I pulled into the driveway and parked the bike. I walked inside quickly and saw Stahl waiting for me.

"Savannah. You made it here quickly."

"You said you needed to talk."

"Right this way."

I followed her down a hallway and we turned into a room. I gasped lightly when I saw Opie sitting in the room in front of us.

"I had a feeling he was one of the people you were torn between."

I wasn't sure what to say so I just looked at Opie. He looked exhausted.

"We paid off all his debt his ex-wife left behind. His house is paid off, along with his credit cards."

"You're going to get him killed, June."

"So you know more about the club than you let on."

I turned to look at her.

"I grew up in it, June. Look at my father. My mother. I spent my childhood behind those walls. I grew up with him and Jax. They were my best friends."

"You could turn witness. Tell me everything you know and everything you have seen lately."

"I won't say anything that could hurt anyone. Besides, I hardly know anything. It's not like I still talk to my dad. I'm not allowed to."

She locked her jaw at the mention of my father.

"Is that what happened to your face? Did my father do that?"

"Don't worry about that. We're releasing Opie. He's gonna need a ride home."

"I'll take care of that."

"I want to help you, Fae."

"I'll take care of my family, June. But thank you."

"Hmm. Your family."

I paused.

"Yeah. My family. I ran away from them but the longer I'm here, the more I realize how much I care for them."

She nodded and opened up the door.

"Officer, please escort Miss Delaney to the waiting room. Have a nice day, Fae."

* * *

After a while, the same officer came and asked me to follow him. We walked down the hallway until we ran into Stahl and Opie. He looked at me and nodded. I followed them as we head towards the exit.

"You know I'll be picking you up again, Ope. As soon as we put this case together, you will be tried for murder."

"I guess I'll see you then."

"Going back to the club is a mistake. It puts you at risk. It puts you and those you care about at risk."

"I can protect myself and everyone I care about."

"Do you believe that?"

She looked at me.

"Huh? You need to start thinking about your future, Fae. What kind of person are you going to be? C'mon sweetheart, you've worked so hard to live a legitimate life. What kind of person do you really want to be?"

"The kind of who doesn't bail on her family."

"You can't swim in poison and walk out unharmed. That club is going to get you killed."

Opie put his arm around my shoulders as we walked out and away from Stahl.

"Do we have a way to get home?"

"You're gonna have to drive my bike."

"That piece of shit?"

"That is a very fine piece of shit, thank you. Chibs fixed it up for me."

He stopped near my bike and held me shoulders, turning me to face him.

"Why are you here?"

"She pulled me in. Told me it was an emergency. I came running."

"She knows now. I can tell by the way she looked at you. She figured it out. She is going to try to use you against me. Against the club."

"That doesn't matter right now. All that matters is you're safe. We can worry about the rest later."


	10. Like It Was Just A Dream

We made it back to the clubhouse and walked in. Everyone was looking at Opie like he was a piece of dirt. Piney ran over and hugged him before pulling me into an embrace.

"You alright, Angel?"

"Yeah, I'm good old man."

He smiled at me and kissed my forehead before everyone went inside the chapel. He was worried. I could tell it by the look in his eyes when he looked at me and Opie. He knew that I would always defend his son, but he also knew it could get me in trouble if something went down. I lookver over and noticed Tig held back. He looked at me cautiously before finally acknowledging I was there.

"Why don't you head home. We're gonna be in there for a while."

"I'm waiting for Opie. We rode here together."

Tig walked forward, glaring at me.

"Listen, I'm glad you're back. I think you need to focus more on your own life and leave the club shit to us. You have a nice job at the hospital that deserves your time."

"Tig, this club has always been my family. I get it. I'm not a member but I've always been welcome here."

"No, no. I get it. But things have changed. Your old man ain't even here anymore."

"And whose fault is that, Alex?"

He grabbed my chin with his hand and gripped hard. I glared at him, pissed that he would even say something like that about my dad.

"You need to go outside before I do something stupid."

"You're a psycho, you know that?"

"That your professional opinion?"

"I don't know what the hell got into you, Tig, but you need help."

He let go of my face and I walked towards the door. I didn't trust him, but I needed to get away from him before we ended up trading blows. Something had shift in him. He had always been volatile, but never with me. He had always been someone I could go to, but then he put me on edge. I looked back at him before finally pushing the doors open.

* * *

We woke up the next morning curled up in Opie's bed. We had head home after the club assured him that he was in the clear with them. I was exhausted, so we just laid down and went to sleep. When I opened my eyes, Opie was already awake looking at me. I ran my hand down his chest and smiled at him.

"Morning Ope."

"Mornin."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just have a lot to think about."

"Like what?"

"Just twisted up about the shit Stahl said."

He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling.

"About coming back?"

"About keeping you safe."

I propped myself up on my arm.

"I can keep myself safe, Ope."

He sighed again, this time in frustration.

"This shit with the club. It just keeps getting worse."

"It always gets worse before it gets better."

"You know, all this started as just being thrilled that you're back. I mean when I saw you on that stage.. That was one of the best nights of my life."

"I was so afraid you hated me." I laughed.

"Far from it. I knew you were alive, but I always kind of worried, you know?"

"I'm not sure I can apologize more than I already have."

"Not what I'm looking for, babe. I just worry about being able to keep you safe. Sometimes.. sometimes I wonder if you were safer in New York."

I leaned forward and kissed him. He cupped the side of my face, deepening the kiss. I broke away and forced a smile. I knew he was shaken up, but I didn't like the way he was talking. Things were rough, but they always got better.

"I thought you had to go to the clubhouse this morning."

"I do. As much as I would like to stay in bed with you."

"What else is on the agenda?"

"I have no idea. Depends on what happens in church today. I know Gemma is hosting a dinner at her house."

"Probably no way we can get out of that huh?"

"No. No way."

I groaned and put my forehead on his chest. He rumbled out a laugh and ran his fingers through my hair, laughing when they got tangled.

"I gotta head out, babe."

"Yeah, I need to head up to the hospital."

"They finally get a schedule set up?"

"Sort of. One more week before the actual appointments start. That means I will be at the hospital more. No more working at home."

"Might be a good thing. Shit is getting pretty heated around here."

"I know. I just know that means less time I get to spend with you."

I frown before starting to sit up more.

"I gotta get my head back into the club anyway. You're kind of distracting."

I laughed and smiled back at him as I moved to the edge of the bed.

"Why don't you move in with me."

"What?"

I stopped moving, unsure if I had actually heard him right.

"We're always together every night anyway. I have this huge house all to myself. Tara and Jax are gonna end up living together soon. I mean you can buy your own place, but until you get some money saved up-"

"I actually have a ton of money saved up. Working in New York helps with high wages and having a friend to split rent with."

"Alright. Buy a place then."

I smiled at him.

"You really want me to move in?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I'll get my shit tonight then. Don't have much with me."

"Good thing I have a fully furnished house then, huh?"

I smiled at him before rolling my eyes. He could be such a sarcastic ass sometimes.

"Wanna meet me over at Gemma's after you get out of work?"

"Yeah, sure. Hopefully she doesn't keep us there too long."

"It's Gemma. Whatever she wants is gonna happen."

* * *

After a long day, the party at Gemma's felt like an eternity. I smiled and spent time with everyone even though I couldn't wait to get home. I had packed my car after work so I could head right back to Opie's. I was sitting on the couch with him when I realized I forgot to clean out the dresser I had been using.

"Shit, Ope I gotta go back to Tara's for a bit."

"What did you forget?"

"All my damn clothes in the dresser."

"They even gonna fit in your car?"

"I'm not sure. I need them for work though."

He kissed my temple and stood up, helping me to my feet. We walked over to Jax and he smiled at us.

"Heard you're moving in with Mr. Winston here."

"You heard right."

"That mean I need to knock now?"

"I mean you've already seen her naked."

I slapped Opie's chest as the two men laughed. Tara playfully hit Jax's arm and shook her head.

"I forgot a ton of stuff at your house though, Tare. I'll get you the key tomorrow."

"No rush, Fae. The doors are always open for you."

I gave her and Jax a quick hug before we walked out the door. Opie walked me up to my car and I looked over to see Tig walking over to his bike. I looked back at Opie.

"You're not gonna be able to fit anything in this car."

"I know. I guess I can go tomorrow morning right before work."

"Why don't you take my truck over there? That way it's all done tonight. I can unload the car for you while you go."

"I don't know, think you can drive a nice care like this?"

"Hmm. You did tell me that I had a better chance at getting you naked than behind this wheel.."

I smirked up at him as he bent down to kiss me.

"Thank you."

"Of course. Still remember how to drive an old truck?"

I glared at him before taking the keys out of his hand.

"Don't worry Ope. I make enough now that I can replace any vehicle you may be afraid of my wrecking."

He laughed out as I climbed in and pulled away.

* * *

The roads were pretty barren as I drove through town. As much as I always had ragged on Opie driving around older vehicles, I really missed driving his truck. He had gotten it just a few months before I left. He would drive me through town in it late at night. It didn't always lead to us parked on the side of the road. Most nights it was just us talking about life.

Those were the nights that made it hard for me to admit I was leaving. I would be steadfast in my decision until I climbed into the truck with him. Even though he looked much older than back then, back when we were kids he still had an old soul. I was never sure if it was the life he grew up in or if he was always like that. I grew up with him, but those years he was away with his mom changed him. Or maybe all the years without my dad changed me.

I pulled up to the light in the middle of town and stopped for the red light. I laughed realizing that it was still timed wrong, making it stay red for far too long. I looked down to check my phone, seeing that I had at least fifteen missed calls from Ima and a few messages. I sighed in frustration and glanced up at the light. It was still red, so I decided to open up a message.

 **I need to see you, Fae. Why do you keep ignoring me?**

I sighed and went to click back to the messages, but the phone slipped out of my hand. As soon as I bent over to pick up the phone, I heard a slew of shots ring out. Before I could throw myself onto the floor, I felt a searing hot pain rip through my back and through my shoulder, spraying blood across the dashboard and windshield. I screamed out right as the shots stopped. I grabbed my shoulder as I felt blood starting to run down my arm and chest. I pulled my hand up to my face and saw it was absolutely covered in blood.

I pulled myself up and looked over to my right as a black SUV pulled up. I desperately tried to see who was driving, but it was so dark inside the tinted vehicle. For a second, I could have sworn that I saw Tig's eyes looking back at me, but I attributed it to the pain and how weird he had been acting. The SUV sped away as I slumped over against the door.

I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there, but I was starting to get tired. I knew I needed to fight to keep my eyes open, but I was starting to lose the battle. I looked down at my phone and desperately wanted to reach down to get it. Just as I really considered moving forward, I heard the sirens getting close. I let my head fall against the door and my eyes fluttered shut.

The sound of bikes made it to me before the sirens did. They still sounded so far off, like it was just a dream. The door suddenly whipped open and arms wrapped around me. I was instantly hit by Chib's familiar smell as he pulled me out of the truck.

"Christ, Lass. Oh, Angel. Wake up, baby. Talk to me."

"Chibby."

"Oh, Christ. Thank the lord."

He carried me over and I was set down on the stretcher the ambulance had brought. I heard a vehicle skid to a stop and instantly heard Opie screaming for me. I looked up at Chibs finally and saw just how worried he was.

"Chibs."

"What, sweetheart?"

"If I don't.. if I stop.."

"Don't. Don't talk like that."

"It hurts. I just want to go to sleep."

"No. No you stay awake damn it. You keep your eyes open."

"It hurts." I cried.

"Sir, we need to get her out of here. Are you her family?"

"Aye. I'll be right back. Load her in, I'll ride with her."

"Chibs."

"What?"

"Tell.. tell Opie.. I love him."

"Ya tell him yerself, Angel."

I cried out when they started loading the stretcher up into the ambulance. Any type of movement hurt like hell, but it was keeping me awake. I felt hands push down on my chest and shoulder which only made me cry out again. I could hear Opie yelling for me and Jax trying to get him to calm down. Chibs jumped back in right before they shut the doors and we took off.

"Hang in there, lass. Hang in there for me."

I didn't have the energy to respond to him as the paramedics worked on me. I fought to keep my eyes open, but the last thing I remember is Chibs begging me to stay with him.


	11. The Truth Was

**Thank you to everyone who has left reviews and sent me messages. I love you all! I'm so glad to be getting back to this story. It's been a relief to keep moving forward!**

* * *

I woke up to beeping machines next to me. I took a few deep breaths, wincing at the pain. I coughed once and groaned. It felt like I had acid poured down my throat.

"Christ, you're awake."

I moved my head to the side slowly and saw Chibs sitting in a chair next to me once my eyes focused. He leaned forward and gently look my hand as he rested himself on the side of the bed.

"Oh, thank Christ. Faelynn you scared the shite out of me."

I tried to talk but it hurt. My throat was on fire.

"Don't try to talk sweetheart. You've been out fer a while. Do ya remember what happened?"

I nodded gently and kept looking at him. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Do ya remember much?"

I shook my head and brought my right hand up to my chest and shoulder. I felt thick bandages where my skin should be under the gown.

"Slug went right through. Had to stich ya up. Ya lost a lot of blood."

I touched my throat, looking at him.

"They had to go in three times, love. They kept missing bleeds. Had ya on life support fer a week."

I felt tears run down my face. I had almost died.

"Yer alright now, love. I haven't left ya side."

I tapped on his vest a few times with my pointer finger.

"They all came in ta see ya."

I shook my head. He knew what I was asking.

"He's out lookin' for who did this to ya. He hasn't stopped."

I nodded and looked down at my hand. It was covered in bruises where I had been poked and prodded.

"They told him ya might not make it. Told all of us that. Thought him and Jax were gonna tear the whole builin' down. Tara ended up going in 'an helpin'. It's the only way she could get Jax ta calm down."

I swallowed a few times before finally forcing myself to talk.

"But you're still here."

"Oh, sweetheart, of course I am. I've always been here for ya, haven't I?"

"Opie isn't."

He sighed and squeezed my hand.

"We all deal with shite different, lass. He's dealing with it by finding the person."

"Jax?"

"He's with him."

I nodded and pulled my hand from his.

"I want to sleep."

Chibs hesitated but nodded.

"Ya want me to go?"

"I want to be alone."

"Alright lass. I'll send a nurse in. I'll let the guys know you're awake."

"Don't bother."

I turned my head to the side and felt the tears fall down my face. I knew the way the club worked. It didn't matter what was going on, they had to be there. I should have been happy that Chibs was there holding my hand. He was right, he had always been there for me. But Opie should have been the one I opened my eyes to.

* * *

I slept for a while until I heard the door open. I smiled as Tara walked in, dressed in her work clothes.

"Fae, how are you feeling?"

"Like a bullet ripped through my body."

"You're one strong woman, you know that?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. She sat down on the side of the bed and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Chibs said you asked him to leave."

"I don't want to see anyone."

"Don't mind seeing me?"

I smiled at her.

"Of course I want to see you. You're my best friend, Tare. I know we haven't seen each other much, but I love you."

"I love you too, Fae. Want me to call Opie?"

"No."

She sighed.

"Do you blame him?"

I looked at her, but I wasn't sure how to answer.

"I'm not sure. I mean, I know he didn't pull the trigger but.."

"But it was his truck."

I nodded and felt my eyes well up again.

"Do you want to stay with me for a while?"

"No. I can't ask you to do that, Tara. You and Jax are doing so well."

"I would drop all of it for you though, Fae."

I forced a smile and shook my head.

"Nah, it's okay. When do I get out of here anyway?"

"As long as your vitals stay good, probably another two days."

"Thanks, doc."

She laughed at me and kissed my forehead.

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too, Tare."

* * *

I woke up later, though I wasn't sure how long it had been. They were giving me some amazing pain meds but they made time hard to understand. I blinked a few times and stretched my right arm, wincing when the muscles contracted around my damaged left arm.

"You're finally awake."

I looked over, shocked by the blonde looking back at me.

"Ima?"

She smiled as she moved over and sat on the bed next to me. She kept brushing my hair back and smiling at me.

"I came over as soon as I found out. Your.. family.. wouldn't let me in but I just kept trying until they finally left."

"I had told the nurse that I didn't want to see anyone."

"I know. I told her that your mom sent me over."

I frown, not liking that I was alone with her in the hospital. I also didn't like the fact that I was struggling to find a way to tell her to leave.

"Ima I-"

"I heard you are moving in with Opie."

"Oh. I uh. I haven't really seen him since this happened."

"He wasn't here when you woke up?"

"Chibs was here."

"Oh, Fae. When are you gonna learn, baby?"

She stroked the side of my face with smoldering eyes. I looked away from her, moving my head out of her hand.

"Fae, look. I know I messed up. I never was serious about this. About me and you. I just.. I was young ya know?"

"What is different now?"

"I know what I want."

I sighed.

"Ima, you've slept your way through the clubhouse since I've been gone."

"And you did befor you left."

I bit the inside of my cheek, not wanting to yell at her.

"Am I wrong?"

"No, Ima. You're not wrong. I've changed though. I don't do that shit anymore."

"How do you know I haven't changed?"

"When was the last time you were under one of the guys?"

"The day before you came back. I found out you were in town and I stopped."

I scoffed, not believing her.

"Look, baby, you don't have to believe me. But honestly who is here for you now?"

She leaned forward, cupping my face with her hands. She kissed my gently, something I wasn't used to from her. I silently thanked Tara for turning off the sound on the monitors hooked up to me as my heart started to race. She pulled away and put her forhead against mine.

"I love you, Fae. I know that was something I never wanted to say back to you but I mean it."

"I uh.."

I felt short when it came to words. She pulled away and looked at me, still staying close.

"He isn't here for you, Fae. But I am."

I nodded, not looking her in the eyes.

"I can't keep you safe."

I looked up at her, surprised she wasn't trying to twist it that she could.

"But neither can they. They're supposed to protect the women they love, but you're here in this bed all alone."

"Chibs was here."

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"He's always been there, but not because of the club. You and I both know it. The club isn't safe. Not anymore. It doesn't matter that you're family. You aren't wearing that Reaper so that means you don't mean shit."

"I'm family to them."

Although I had meant to retort back with a strong voice, instead it cracked. I sounded unsure of myself even though I had said the same phrase my whole life. She gave me a sad smile before she kissed my forehead and stood up.

"Just think about it, Fae. You've always known what the right thing is to do. I'll message you soon."

"Yeah."

"Bye, beautiful."

I watched her saunter out and shut the door behind her. I flopped my head back against the pillow with a sigh. I should have been able to tell myself that I was crazy. The club loved me and wanted nothing but the best for me. I had taken off on all of them, yet they welcomed me with open arms.

It all was a lie though. My heart had already been aching, and it had nothing to do with the physical pain I was feeling in the same area. I could never tell Chibs how much I appreciated him being there for me. It hadn't surprised me at all when I opened my eyes to him waiting on me. It had, however, broken my heart to know that Opie wasn't even close.

The truth was I had no idea what to do.

* * *

I spent the next three days recovering and getting plenty of sleep. The hospital was giving me a month off to recover but welcomed me back early if I was up to it. I felt horrible that they had finally set up a large department just to have their head Psychologist get shot. Luckily, I could still sign off on the therapists work from home.

I had asked Tara where I would be staying but she said her and Gemma had worked it all out. I still had refused to see anyone, but I did have faith in Gemma. She always took care of me better than my own mother, who had decided she was too busy to come see me.

I was wheeled outside and met by Gemma's flashy SUV. She got out and walked over to me, helping me up. My left arm was in a sling until I could get checked out in a few weeks. They weren't sure if there had been any permanent damage done that would make the use of my arm weak, so they wanted it to rest as much as possible.

"Hey baby. Let's get you home."

"I going to your place?"

"Yeah. Opie kept insisting you stay with him but between you not talking to him and him never being home I didn't think it was a good idea."

I nodded, not wanting to get into that conversation yet. She helped me up into the car and got back in, pulling away towards her place.

"How are you feeling?"

"It hurts."

"They give you pain meds?"

"You know I won't take that shit, Gem."

"Yeah, I know. I have some weed at home, if you want it."

I laughed and rest my head back against the seat.

"Can't do that and keep my license, or I would take you up on that."

We pulled into the driveway and she helped me out. I frowned when I saw there were four bikes in the driveway.

"They wanted to see you, baby."

"Yeah."

We walked inside and I was met by Chibs at the door.

"Hey, lass. How ya feeling?"

"I want to go to sleep."

He looked over at Gemma and she shook her head.

"I'll get her down there, Chibs. Think she needs her mother now more than anything."

"Aye."

I walked into the dining room and saw Opie standing next to Jax. Clay was sitting at the table looking at his cigar.

"Glad to see you up and moving, Fae."

"Thanks, Jax. I uh, I'm really tired. I'm gonna go lay down."

I wanted to look at Opie, but I could feel him staring at me. I kept my eyes to the ground and gave a forced smile before heading down the hallway. I could hear them all talking lowly before the front door opened and slammed shut. I walked into the spare bedroom and sat down on the bed. Gemma walked in and shut the door.

"Where is your head at, baby?"

"I don't know, Gem."

She sat down next to me and put her hand on my leg.

"You can't blame the club for this."

"Can't I? Gemma I was shot. In Opie's truck. I almost died because of the club."

"That isn't true. You're just upset. Get some rest and we can talk about this later."

I wanted to fight with her, but I nodded. I sat back on the bed and sighed.

"Thanks for letting me stay here, Gem."

"Of course, Faelynn. You're family."


	12. Best Of You

**RhondaL- I missed everyone too! I am so glad to be back to writing as well. It's been a long road but i'm so glad to to be where I am :)**

 **Emmettluver2010- Thank you for all the reviews! I think you're the only one that actually likes Ima around XD**

 **To everyone else who has started following either myself or this story.. thank you. All the love this story has been getting has been seriously spurring me on after such a long break in writing!**

* * *

I sat around the house for a few weeks. Gemma was always there to dote on me, but in all reality, I just wanted to be alone. I asked her to keep everyone away, except Clay of course. He lived there but he wanted nothing to do with me. Not that he ever had much interest in me unless it was to get me to do something for dad.

Gemma walked in the door and put her purse on the counter. I had been sitting at the table for a while drinking coffee and burning through the pack of cigarettes I had asked for her to get.

"Hey, baby. Finally up and moving?"

"Yeah, I guess. Supposed to go back to work tomorrow."

She looked at the empty pack before sitting down next to me.

"You doing alright?"

"I've been sitting here trying to figure that out."

"Come to any conclusions?"

I sighed and put my cigarette out.

"I resent them. All of them."

"Baby-"

"Listen. I stayed calm and collected when my dad got locked up. I was a kid. I watched him get ripped away then time and time again I got my hopes up just to never have him come home. When I got old enough that I couldn't take it anymore, I ran."

She sat back in her chair and listened to me.

"I spent all that time away doing everything I could, so I could take care of myself. I didn't ever want to rely on anyone like I did the club. I wanted my life to mean something more than just a dead whore or an old lady. I wanted to make a difference."

"You have always made a difference."

"I almost died, Gemma. I almost died and the only person who was there when I opened my eyes was Chibs. He has always been there for me, even when no one else was."

"I've always been there for you."

"Yeah. But Jax is always going to come first. The club is always going to come first. And I get it. I do. I understand. Jax is your baby. I'm just the girl you took care of when my dad went to jail and my mom spent more time spreading her legs for a camera than she did taking care of me."

"You're my daughter, Faelynn. I always thought I wanted nothing more than my two boys. I didn't know how to deal with girls. Then when I walked into the clubhouse the day your mom dropped you off, I knew then I knew how to deal with girls. That's the day you became my baby, Fae."

I felt tears sting my eyes before I looked up, trying to keep them at bay.

"I can't do this anymore, Gemma. I watched this club kill my daddy. I watched them hurt and tear apart anything that came in their way. I never said much because in the end I was safe."

"You are-"

"Don't you dare say it. Don't you dare say that I am safe. No one is safe in this town. No one is safe if they love someone with that reaper."

"Does this have anything to do with that little whore visiting you?"

"Ima? You knew about that?"

"I know everything, baby."

I sighed and smoothed out the top of my hair. I had always loved to take care of my hair, but lately all I seemed to be able to do was put it up into a bun.

"She made some good points."

"Oh, bullshit. She has always done everything possible to twist you up."

"I was already twisted up before she walked in that door."

Gemma signed and took hand, careful not to pull on my now-sling-free arm.

"Baby, every time something has gone wrong, she has swooped in. It's like she wants her dirty little whore hands all over you, but only when it's good for her. I wish you could see that."

I stayed silent, knowing that she was right.

"It doesn't change how I'm feeling, Gem."

I looked up at her and gave her a weak smile. I picked up my now empty pack, tossing it in the garbage as I walked to the sink. I rinsed the cup out and set it upside down before walking back towards my room.

"Everything is gonna be fine, Fae."

"Maybe."

* * *

I walked out the door the next day, ready to get back to work. I had been spending most of my time catching up on paperwork which made it easy to put aside everything that had happened. I still had my hair up in a bun, but I had actually put makeup and nice clothes on. It felt weird, but I needed to get out of the rut I was in.

"Well, hello there beautiful."

I snapped my eyes up to see Opie leaning on his bike with his arms crossed. I involuntarily swallowed hard, surprised that he was standing there.

"Ope. Hey."

"Gemma let me know that you were heading back to work today. Figured you could use a ride."

"Oh. Uhm, I mean I have my car."

"I know."

I looked at him and chewed on my bottom lip. I had refused to talk to him for weeks. I knew he had stopped by a few times, but I just kept telling Gemma I wasn't ready.

"You look good, Angel."

"Oh, thanks."

"You gonna be able to take your hair down for the helmet?"

I touched my hair, still focused on the fact that he was actually standing in front of me. I pulled it out of the bun, letting it fall down. It was overly curly and messy since I had been neglecting it. He reached his hand out, letting me grab the helmet he was handing over. I slipped it on and tucked my purse in his side pouch.

I kept expecting him to grill me about the past few weeks. I was dreading it, honestly. I didn't want to talk about anything and I sure as hell didn't want to try to explain how I was feeling. Instead, he climbed on and waited for me to join him.

"What time do you need to be there?"

"Shift technically starts at nine, but I figured I'd go in early to get my paperwork sorted."

"Shoulder good enough to wrap around me?"

I felt my face flush as I stupidly remembered how close I was going to have to be to him. I was like a deer in the headlights and I hated it. I grew up around bikes and there I was acting like an idiot. I climbed on and wrapped my arms around him like I needed to before the bike roared to life.

"You good?"

I nodded against his back and he backed out of the driveway. He was feeling just as fluid as normal. I, however, was as stiff as a board. I felt his hand touch mine as if to remind me to relax. I had seen someone wreck because they weren't relaxing as much as possible. I let my muscles relax as we started moving forward.

We drove through town slowly. Normally he would have been going as fast as possible without getting in trouble. He took it easy instead. I wasn't sure if it was due to how uncomfortable I was or because he wasn't in a hurry for me to get off the bike.

We pulled into the driveway of the hospital and he backed his bike into a spot near the side door. He cut the engine and let me climb off first. He looked over at me and grabbed my purse, handing it to me. I gave him a weak smile and fumbled with the buckles on my helmet.

"Here, let me get it."

He stepped forward, close enough that our bodies were almost touching. I stayed still as he expertly unwound the straps holding the helmet on my head. He gently pulled it off my head, causing my hair to go everywhere. I looked up at him, realizing the softness in his eyes for the first time that day.

"What time do you get off work?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure. As long as the appointments run on time, I should be done around four."

"I'll be back at four then."

"You don't have to. I can always call-"

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine gently. It was quick, but I could feel all the emotion behind it. He pulled away and cupped the side of my face.

"I'll see you at four."

I nodded back at him before quickly flipping my hair back up into a bun. I could feel that my face was almost as red as my hair was. I walked over to the door but looked back when I reached it to watch him pull away. I had expected him to be angry with me. Instead he had acted with kindness and like nothing was even wrong between the two of us.

I shook my head before walking through the door. I didn't have time to ponder about what he was trying to do. It was my first day back actually in the office and that was most important.

* * *

By the end of my workday I had a splitting headache. I hadn't taken more than a few sips of my coffee and somehow ended up with ten times more paperwork than I had started with. My last patient of the day hadn't shown up, so I had been working on everything for a solid hour before I heard a knock on my door.

"Door is open."

I looked back down at my paperwork, waiting for the door to open all the way. I frown at the mistakes I noticed on the paperwork and started marking them. I finally looked up to see Opie standing in front of my desk with a fresh coffee.

"Figured you may need this. You get busy and forget it's even on your desk."

I let out a soft laugh and took it from him.

"Thank you."

"Looks like you got a ton of paperwork, doc."

"I don't even know where the hell it all came from. It's going to take me weeks to be fully caught up."

He sat down on the couch across from my desk and looked around. I hadn't furnished my office much, but I at least had my degrees and certifications hanging up on the wall. He finally looked back at me and watched me sort through the paperwork.

"You seem a little more.. awake than this morning."

"Uh, yeah. I mean I was awake. Just wasn't really expecting you to be standing there when I walked out the door."

"You refused to see me for weeks. Figured it was the best way to get an audience with you."

I paused flipping through the papers and looked up at him. He had a smirk on his face, but I could tell he was hurt by me ignoring him for so long. I signed and put the papers in a semi-neat pile and sat back in my chair. I crossed my arms across me, wincing when I felt the tightness in my shoulder. His face fell when he noticed me move my left arm back over to where it was.

"Still hurts?"

"Yeah. They keep telling me it will get better, but I'll believe it when I see it."

"Faelynn I-"

"I think it's time for me to talk, if that's okay."

He nodded at me and waited. I ran through a few different starts, not sure of how to actually bring all of it up.

"Where were you when I woke up?"

"Looking for the asshole that shot you."

"And did you find him?"

He looked at me without any emotion.

"I'll take that as a yes then. There aren't any hidden cameras or microphones in here, Ope. You can talk freely."

He nodded and sat up on the couch, looking at me. I sighed again and ran my hands over my face, then groaning when I remember I had makeup on.

"What do you want me to say, Ope?"

"I want you to talk to me."

"Do you want me to say that is all okay? That everything is okay because you found the asshole?"

"No. I want you to look at me and realize that you didn't need to ignore me for a month, Fae."

"I was shot."

"I know. I was there when it-"

"No. You weren't. You were driving home and I was shot in your truck in the middle of Charming."

"You think they were going after me."

"That doesn't sound like a question. We both know I wasn't the intended target. And if I was it was because of my ties to the club."

"What do you want me to say? I killed the asshole that tried to kill you. He isn't going to ever hurt you again."

"That isn't what I needed, Opie. I needed you. I needed to see that you were worried about me. Instead I wake up and find out that you were off pulling a trigger instead of seeing if I was alive or not."

"Chibs called me every time they nurse came in to even look at you."

"That isn't the point."

He sighed and sat back again.

"What the hell is the point then?"

"The point is I could have died. I could have stopped breathing and you wouldn't have even known until Chibs was sane enough to call you. You think he would have been able to talk if I died? You think he would have been coherent enough to send a text?"

"Probably not. I just.. Fae when that doctor looked me in the eyes and told me that you might not make it.. I lost my shit. I couldn't breathe. I rolled up to you being pulled out of the truck and all I could see was blood. No one would let me near you."

"I could hear you screaming for me."

"Jax had to drag me away and convince me to go to the hospital. Chibs had told him you were alive, but it was bad. We drove up and I still couldn't see you. I was in that waiting room for hours going out of my fucking mind. Tara kept going in for updates because if she didn't, I would have torn down the wall just to get to you."

He had so much emotion in his eyes and all over his face. I tried to think of another time when he was that distraught, but I couldn't remember one.

"The doctor came out and asked who the family was. We all were there at first but by the time he came out it was Jax, Chibs and me. Every one else was locked down and ready for a fight but we just couldn't leave you. That doctor looked right at us Fae. He told us that you had lost so much blood he wasn't even sure how you were alive. They got all the metal out but it had fucked you up. Chibs begged them to save you. He said he would do everything possible, but that we needed to prepare for the worst."

"Opie I-"

"Let me finish. Please."

I nodded quickly. I wanted so badly to tell him to just forget it. It was tearing me up seeing him so upset.

"That's when Jax convinced me to go. Chibs was gonna stay with you. There was no way in hell that he was going to leave your side. We left and we stormed every place possible looking for info. We needed to know who hurt you. It didn't matter why at the time. All I wanted was revenge. I wanted you to wake up and know that no mother fucker was going to hurt you again."

He got up and walked to me, kneeling down on the floor in front of me. He reached up and took my hands in his.

"The only time I stopped was to call Chibs and to answer when your dad called."

"He called?"

"Yeah. News got to him quick. Clay figured he would call him but it was my phone that rang."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that I would do everything I could to keep you safe. I told him I would find the fucker that tried to kill you and put a god damn bullet between his eyes."

"Is.. is he okay?"

"Yeah. He asked if Chibs was with you. Then he told me to do what I needed to."

"Why hasn't he called?"

"He wants you to call him after you read that notebook he gave you."

I rolled my eyes and huffed out a sigh.

"I don't know why that damn notebook is so fucking important."

Opie smiled and put his forehead against my hands for a moment before looking back up at me.

"I'm sorry, Fae. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you woke up. I wish there was a way to make this all better. I wish there was a way to make you trust me again."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ope. I just.."

"You don't think I can keep you safe."

I looked at him, pain racking my body.

"No. I don't. Not because it's you or because you don't lo- care about me. Anyone that is attached to that reaper is in danger. It just keeps seeming to get worse."

His face fell as he looked at me.

"When did you talk to Ima?"

"What?"

"Ima said those same exact words to me when she tried to convince me to let you go."

I opened my mouth but shut it quickly.

"When did you see her?"

"She came to see me in the hospital. Lied to the nurse and said she was family or some shit."

He stood up and leaned against my table.

"So she got into your head again."

"No I-"

"No, its okay. I get it. I should have figured you'd go back to her as soon as shit got rough."

"That isn't fair, Ope."

"You're right. It's not. It's not fair that every fucking time things are going good you run the moment there is an inconvenient. It's not fair that she always gets the best of you!"

"The best of- excuse me? Inconvenience? Is that was being shot is called?"

"In this life? Yeah!"

I stood up and started pulling all my stuff together.

"Well, maybe I don't want this life anymore."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe I want to be able to walk around without looking behind me back and wondering when I'll take another bullet!"

I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm. I winced out and he instantly let go.

"Maybe you should have just stayed in New York."

"No, I should have just fucking died in your truck. That way you wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of the life you chose to live. I'd just be a dead whore."

I walked away from him quickly before he could say anything else. I felt tears threatening to stream down my face, so I quickly turned down the back hallway. I needed to get away from him and all the reminders of the bullshit I chose to deal with. I needed to get away.


	13. Innocence

**Another chapter up quickly. This is officially everything I have written as i write this authors note. Hopefully it keeps going creatively for me! Thank you everyone for your ongoing support! Much love!**

* * *

I walked the few blocks it took to get to the garage. I was pissed I hadn't waited for Opie for a ride. I knew he would have dropped me at home regardless of our argument. I looked over and saw that there was only one bike left in the parking lot. I didn't recognize it, so I figured that it was someone that was fairly new to me.

I kept walking towards the garage and saw the workers that had no real ties to the club. They were working on a few vehicles and barely looked up to even see who was walking towards them. I looked into the office and saw Juice working behind the table.

"Hey Juice."

He jumped, dropping the stack of papers that he had in his hand.

"Jesus, Fae? You scared the shit out of me."

I laughed and put my hand over my mouth. He seemed flustered but seeing the papers fly everywhere was funny.

"Sorry about that, sweetheart. You the only one working here today?"

"Yeah everyone else went to- uhm. Club business."

"It's okay, hun. You don't need to tell me anything. I know how it works."

He let out a sigh and nodded.

"What are you doing here? I thought Opie was supposed to pick you up?"

"Yeah. I uh, I walked here actually. Think you could give me a ride back to Gemma's?"

"Oh, uh. Maybe I should call Opie first."

He shift nervously and glanced down at my phone.

"He said he had a bunch of stuff to do. I can just walk if you're too busy."

"No! No. I'll give you a ride. You're good on a bike, right?"

"Juice, I grew up on a bike."

His face flushed as he gave me a nervous smile.

"Shit. I'm sorry.."

"No worries, hun."

We walked over to his bike and I climbed on after him, wrapping my arms around him. He felt stiff and uncomfortable. I rest my head on his back, trying not to laugh at him. He rode quickly to Gemma's, clearly eager to get me off the back of his bike. I climbed off as soon as we came to a standstill and handed him back his spare helmet.

"Thanks, Juice."

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, laughing when his eyes bugged. He nodded but never said a word as he pulled out of the driveway.

"You're gonna give that kid a heart attack, ya know."

I turned to see Clay standing near the door smoking a cigar.

"Hey, Clay."

"Thought Opie was giving you a ride home."

"I ended up walking."

"Not a good idea. These Charming roads aren't as safe as we thought."

He was looking down at me like he looked down at Jax when he was pissed. I nodded but didn't want to press my luck with him too much.

"I thought the guy that hurt me isn't a threat anymore."

"He isn't. Was a huge misunderstanding."

"That's good to hear. Hey, you don't happen to know if Gemma brought most of my stuff in do you? I noticed most of the stuff was taken out of my car."

"If she did it's in the garage. Guys are all going to be meeting here later. Probably a good idea for you to not be here while we discuss stuff."

"Oh. Yeah. Of course. Dad just wanted me to read a notebook he kept for me. Once I find that I'll take off."

"Alright. Be careful, kid."

He walked back inside and I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Clay was never particularly friendly with me, but he just felt dangerous. I went into the garage and quickly found the notebook stuck into a bag of clothes. It was actually organized so I figured Tara had put it in there for me when I didn't make it to her house to finish packing.

I was walking out of the garage when Tig rolled in on his bike. He looked at me like he was seeing a ghost. He got off his bike but just continued to stare at me.

"Uh, hey Tig."

"Hey."

"I know the guys are all coming over. I was just grabbing some stuff and heading out."

"Yeah. Hey. You doing okay?"

"Me? Yeah, I'll survive."

"I'm so sorry."

"Oh, it's not your fault Tig. I'm still a little sore but I'll make it."

"Yeah. Yeah you're right. What you got there?"

"Notebook my dad gave me a few months ago. He wanted me to call him after I read through it."

"Any idea what he has to say in it?"

"Not at all. He has been so damn pushy though. Even from prison he is pushy."

I smiled at him and he forced one in return. He walked over and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, unsure why he was acting so weird. He kissed the top of my head and I could have sworn that his body was shaking.

"Hey, Tig?"

He pulled away a bit to look at me.

"Are we okay?"

"What? Of course, Angel. Of course."

"I'm sorry I was so rude with you when you guys thought Opie was a rat. I just.. I knew he wouldn't do that. I shouldn't have butt into the club business or told anyone the shit I did."

"I should have. Don't be sorry. I'm just.. I'm glad you're still here. Everything is good."

I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek before I walked over to climb into my car. I looked over at him again and he was watching me with such a weird expression. I saw that Clay was watching us from the window, gritting his teeth. I got in the car and pulled away before I put too much thought into how weird they were acting.

* * *

I would be lying if I said I knew what to do. Part of me wanted to go find Opie and talk shit out. Another wanted me to head straight for Ima's house. Then there was this little voice telling me to just run and never look back. Running away always seemed like the right decision.

I drove for a while before I even realized where I was going. The more I turned down back roads, the more in my heart I knew I was heading to that same spot. The spot that I had gone to with Chibs a thousand times. It was also the last spot I stopped at before I took off ten years before.

I pulled in slowly and came to a stop, putting it into park. I considered just driving more, but I didn't even know where I was going to go yet. I looked over at the notebook sitting on the pile of stuff in my passenger seat. I reached over and put my hand on it, thinking about my dad.

My heart broke thinking about him. He was tossed in jail, ripped away from his wife and daughter. He was only supposed to be in for a few years, but he just kept giving to the club. That stupid fucking club. I wondered how something could have given me so much and also taken so much away at the same time.

I grabbed the notebook and got out. I tucked it under my arm and moved to the perfect spot. I sat down, huffing out a sigh as I did. I looked out at the landscape and felt nothing but heartache. I had no idea what to do. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Charming was so damn hard to manage and anywhere else just felt wrong. I wanted to say that it was a new feeling, but I had always felt displaced. The ground and the air always felt wrong. It was probably why I always bounced from person to person. I was longing for a feeling I wasn't even sure existed.

I put my hands on the notebook and worried about what was inside. Dad had wanted me to read it so badly. Even when everything else was falling apart, he wanted me to have this. I sighed and finally opened it, not sure I was ready to see what he had to say.

* * *

 _Faelynn,_

 _I had hoped that one day I would get to sit down and tell all of this to you in person. The fact that you're reading this means that I either died in prison or I just won't be coming out anytime soon. Either way, I'm sorry. I will forever be haunted by the memory of seeing you sobbing for me. I never wanted to leave you alone like that, baby girl. I hope that the guys around the club will keep you close, and you will always know what a family is. You, Opie and Jax are meant to be friends. You three will keep each other grounded in this crazy life you have been born into._

 _When you came into my life, I honestly contemplated going legit. I didn't want this kind of life for the beautiful little girl in front of me. You have always been so innocent in such a horrible world. I have done some of the worst things a human being could do, yet you looked at me like the sun shined out of my ass. Your beautiful blue eyes and wild red hair kept me grounded on even my worst days. I hope you never question my love for you._

 _I hope more than anything that you grow up with a smile on your face. I want to see you as an adjusted adult that follows her dreams. I want you to dream, baby. Dream big and never accept anything less than the world at your fingertips. I know the fire and passion you have in you can get you places. I can't wait to see where it takes you and what kind of woman you turn into._

 _The first time I ever saw you, I knew I needed to do anything and everything to protect you. You were handed to me and your big blue eyes stole my heart away. Your mother and I had been wanting a beautiful child for so long, and there you were._

 _Your mother was told she couldn't have kids. She had gotten sick from her job and no one caught it in time. It made it so her body couldn't carry children. She was so heartbroken that we would never have a family past the two of us. She had told me since the moment we met that she wanted sixteen children that all looked just like me. We knew it just couldn't happen though. So, when he heard about a beautiful little girl with hair the color of the sunset sky, we felt hope._

 _I'm sorry you're reading about this and not having it come from my mouth, but hopefully you understand. You needed a family and we needed a little girl._

 _Please don't hate us for not telling you sooner. We wanted to keep you safe. We NEEDED to keep you safe. You are the most important person in my life and I would do anything to make sure you're safe, my sweet girl. I miss you more than you will ever know. I hope someday that all my sacrifices will be well worth it for you._

 _The longer I am in there, the more I regret not telling you all of this sooner. I hate this place so much. I feel like I have let you down. Clay told me you've been at the clubhouse every day. He said they're all looking out for you but you just seem so broken. I don't want you to come visit me here. I don't want you to see your daddy like this. I can't stand to see you look at me any differently than you did before all of this shit._

 _I hope you find family with the guys. I hope you can find someone to cling onto and feel safe. I hope they keep you as safe as I have for the last ten years. I hope I haven't failed you. I love you so much, Faelynn._

 _I don't think I'm ever going to get out of here. It is way too valuable for the club to have someone in here. Part of me wishes that it was someone else, but the other part knows I would never wish this hell upon anyone else. The only thing that is really tearing at me is the fact that you are the one suffering._

There was a break and a few empty pages. They started with writing but was scribbled out. I laughed through tears knowing that he had been fighting to figure out what to say to me.

I _got life this morning. As they were telling me I was never going to see the outside world again, I remembered this notebook. I had planned on writing you every day. I guess that was just when I had good intentions and hope of seeing the outside world. That's gone now. I think I lost it the moment you left town. I never thought I would see you again._

 _I'm rushing to write this. I need you to get it before they throw me in and throw the key away. You deserve so much better than to read this in a beat-up notebook full of a lonely mans ramblings. I considered telling you when I called you, but you didn't answer the phone for so long. I thought you would die never knowing the truth._

 _Your birth name is Aingeal Faelinn. You were brought to us to keep you safe. We paid off someone to legally change your name and get you your citizenship. We changed your first name to Faelynn and gave you your mothers middle name. When you came to us, you were dirty and terrified. We cleaned you up and taught you to trust us. You were my little girl from the moment I met you._

 _I'm sorry we had to lie to you. There were people out there that would have killed you if given the chance. To be honest, I think they still would just to spite us. I hope that explains why we did what we did._

 _Please don't hate me or your mother. We did everything possible to keep you safe and show you the love you deserve. I would have done so much differently in my life, but none of that involves me not being there for you. You have been my daughter and the light of my life since the moment I laid eyes on you._

 _I hope that Opie is sitting next to you as you read this. I hope he knows just how much you need him. You always have but I need him to be there for you now. I'll leave it up to you who you tell, but if you have questions Gemma will have all the answers for you._

 _I love you, Faelynn Delaney. Please always remember that._

* * *

I held the notebook in my hand and cried. I cried for the childhood I never had and the hope that Opie would be next to me. I cried for the identity I never knew I had the danger I was in even before the club had me. I buried my face in my hands and cried until no more tears would fall. I finally dropped my hand onto the notebook again and noticed that there was something in one of the back pages. I flipped through them until I came to an envelope taped to the page. Inside was a birth certificate in a different language. I skimmed through it trying to figure out what it said, but my eyes homed in on the name.

 _Aingeal Faelinn Telford._

After a few moments of staring at the piece of paper, I stuck it back inside the pages and ran to my car. I was trying to process exactly what I had read as I drove far too fast back into Charming. I wasn't sure how to feel, all I knew was I needed some answers. Immediately.


	14. Author Note

**Hey there, beautiful people! I'm sorry to report that this is only an authors note. There are a few things I need to address but i'm hoping the next chapter will be up later today!**

 **I just received a slew of reviews from a guest account. As you can see in my comments on any story that I have written, I have no issue with guests commenting! I love hearing from people and communicating with anyone that wants to. That being said, I have always said CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is the only type that I will accept.**

 **However, I feel like they want to make a statement so I will help them. Since I am so damn helpful :)**

 **Chapter 1- Slow. Incomprehensible. Needs a rethink.**

 **Chapter 6- Is this meant to be oc and au**

 **Chapter 6- I love how you don't care how this reads**

 **I have never been arrogant enough to say that my writing is perfect. I don't get paid for this. I write because I enjoy it. I don't plan on making a living out of this and even if I did, you aren't obligated to read anything that I write. I wrote for a long time without sharing but decided to finally post. I enjoy the friendships that I have made on here. I love reading other stories and seeing the world of fanfiction through their views. The very best part of this community, in my eyes, is the fact that we all can see a story and think of different ways that it could have gone.**

 **So, out of respect for myself..**

 **I will not be approving comments from anyone that refuses to facilitate an actual conversation. If you would like to really talk about something shoot me a message or comment with an actual account. You're hiding.**

 **I will not be approving comments from anyone who is only using the comments section to be an ass. Please look up the definition of constructive criticism It will help you in the future.**

 **I will not be approving comments from anyone that is being rude for the sake of being rude. If you don't like the story, keep moving. It isn't your duty in life to be a jerk.**

 **There is a HUGE difference between commenting on flaws and being a dick. The comments that were left are not constructive, they're belligerent and abusive. I've had enough of that in my life, boo boo, I don't need it here. :)**

 **For those of you that have always been critical in a constructive way, thank you. You make me a better writer and I am forever thankful for you.**

 **Remember kids, if you don't like something that you're reading on a fan fiction site.. just keep scrolling. :)**

 **-C**


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